The Dynamics of Sexual Tension

Do you want to run from your sexual tension?

When I meet someone I have a pretty firm idea of their sexual energy, be the person a man or a woman. That is, I know if they are comfortable with their sexuality. It’s true! I have met a good number of men that I know shouldn’t be left alone with certain women. The sexual tension created; the magnetism would just be too much for a single room to handle. Conversely, I have also met men and women that seem almost asexual. They fear or avoid their sexual desires, thus making them irrelevant, sexually speaking, to those they happen to be around. Let’s talk about that.

For myself, I flirt and I do so almost shamelessly. My girlfriend understands, but she’ll slap me around if I overdo it, but make no mistake. I flirt and it’s a part of what makes me who I am; it’s a part of my identity, my charm, my depravity and all that other good stuff. My female friends are aware of this. Some of them respond by flirting back, most of them, however, don’t even entertain my flirty ways in the slightest and just ignore it altogether.

That flirty behavior creates a type of sexual tension, whether it’s intended or not and because of that I have to also be aware of those that I flirt with and take care.

Since I am at home with my sexuality and I’m playful, flirty and comfortable I pretty much engage everyone and will extend this flirty behavior throughout a room. This makes me “not safe.” What I mean is that I represent a sexual threat in a manner of speaking. Women who are cautious to engage in such behavior, whether it’s because of loyalty to a lover of their own or an unwillingness to get caught up in an all night f*ck-a-thon, will engage me in a “Frisbee deep” fashion. That is, they won’t tell me their life story or what makes them tick and how their heart was broken once upon a time.

On the other hand a woman at peace with her sexuality and that of the people she surrounds herself with might be more inclined to tell me about the time she had an orgy or when she may have had a “devil’s three way.” On the other hand these stories might not be shared with someone who is not at ease sexually speaking.

In a couple other posts I’m going to break down the habits of each side because I think this is an interesting topic worth exploring.
What do you think? Where do you fall in this mix?

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Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.

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One Comment

  1. YES! Definitely a good topic to explore further. Considering I can have a 'sex' conversation with a stranger on the street, I think I'm pretty comfortable. I find this hard (hehe) when dating new men. I'm open about it but also need to remember my filter because I don't want them to think that means they can get in my pants right away.

    I must admit, I bow down to your flirting skills. Someday I hope to have mastered the art.

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