Dating Recipes 101: Beyond the First Date

Hold off on the questions about what a dating recipe is. For now, it's just a lame name for this blog. In most anything anyone does it's important to be prepared. Being prepared saves you a lot of anguish and head aches. For instance, I had a speeding ticket to take care of. Had I been prepared I could have saved myself a two hour wait at the San Bernardino court house, which I refer to now, as “Hell Jr.”Being prepared also applies, very much so, to dating.

I'm not saying being prepared in the sense that you need to go home and do a thorough homework assignment on your date, what they like and what they wanna be when they grow up. No. What I mean is that it is important to know what your options are prior to going out with your date.

It's important because it shows that you are thoughtful and in control of the situation and also shows that you can take charge.  For instance, I had a date with a girl and we were to meet at this coffee house.  Well, the posh coffee spot is closed on the weekends.  No problem.  I had two other spots picked out and we ended up having tea at this awesome spot just a couple miles down the road.  I scored major brownie points on that.  That's just one example of my prep paying, however.

I think it's important to have a few places in mind to take your date to before you meet up with your date. I that's called being an ‘agile dater.' I don't know that I coined that term, but my mom would be proud if I did.

That's where having a dating recipe in place becomes helpful. Now, you can call it what ever you like, but I'm just going to call it a ‘dating recipe.' And if you don't like it, go write your own blog, stinky. Think of a dating recipe the same way you might think of a catering menu; they typically have multiple choices for appetizers, multiple choices for each course of your meal and dessert… You may not choose all, but you'll choose some from each category. It comes down to choices, really.

So different there are many different dating scenarios and so, too, are there an equal number of dating recipe possibilities. I'm not going to cover all of them today. What I would like to cover is the dates that happen after that first or second date, when you and your date are getting to know one another.

After the first date, assuming all is going well, just meeting up for coffee or a drink isn't going to cut it anymore. You're excited about the person you're dating and they feel the same about you… Ideally, of course. So what are you going to do about it?

Alex's Fantastico Dating Recipe of Doom!!!
Again, the assumption is that you're no longer on the first date and you're not married, though this could certainly apply to married folk, too. So, ideally you're somewhere within three dates to ten dates, or somewhere beyond or between.

So I'll list some items, in no particular order of course. Mix and match as you choose… Maybe you do dinner first and drinks last… Then go to jail for a midnight snack. Variety and mystery are the salt and pepper of life, no?

The First Course
Meeting up for a drink. A good way to kill off anything that might be lingering from a bad day. You'll get loosened up and be in good spirits, while drinking your spirits in no time.
Take some sort of class, whether it be art or dance etc…
Meet up for fun at the beach. Lay out in the sun, or just go for a stroll. Taking in the fresh air with someone new is always a good experience.
Go to a museum. Do you or your date like art? Always a good way to take in some beauty and get to know each others' likes.
The Second Course
Dinner somewhere a bit trendy and not Friday's or other chain offerings.
Picnic. Pick up some food from the store. Extra points if grabbing food from an Organic Foods specialty store, like Trader Joes or Whole Foods.
Attend a social gathering. I'm a member of Yelp and there's plenty going on in and around where I live. So I can just pick an event of interest. It could be a bar hop, or wine tasting or even a new restaurant opening. Use the power of the internets to your advantage.

The Third Course

Go see a play, or some theatrical production. It doesn't have to be Wicked, but many colleges, and cities have productions that are cheap and excellent to watch. You just gotta dig for the gems.
Go to the movies. The old stand by you've been avoiding since the first date is now an acceptable sport to take in a new movie and relax with your date.
Attend a wine tasting.

And for Dessert…
Have coffee and dessert at a Jazz Bar. If you're lucky enough to live near one, I highly recommend this, especially if you and your date are fans of jazz.
It's alright if you want to venture to a Cheesecake Factory for some sweet bites. I'll allow it… This time. Next time it's electro shock therapy to the nether regions.

Or maybe enjoy some coffee and a brisk stroll through the park or enjoy a view of the city lights and starry nights.

Again, there are many, many possibilities but the ones I listed are some of the ones I keep on hand. It's important to have a general idea of what you want to do because everyone hates that conversation. You know which one I speak of: “What do you wanna do? “I dunno, what ever you wanna do.” It's frustrating and shows a lack of creativity and, to some degree, confidence.

The take away from this is just getting some ideas of what you could do on your date. But, for extra credit, try looking online or in the phone book for places that fit the suggestions I've given. For instance, if going to the movies, have an idea of a couple of theaters that are close to you, close to your date or, perhaps, one in the middle… That way you're covered regardless of whom is driving to see whom. Additionally, have a few dining places picked out if dinner is on the itinerary. You get the point. So get out there and be the agile dater that I know you can be… n' stuff.

Author Profile

Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.

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