I can't sleep and it's nearly 4am. I hear the soft pitter patter of rain drops outside. At least I think that's what they are. Curious, I lean over to the blinds, crack one open a bit and inspect the damp witching-hour sky… Yep, it's what Californians call rain, but to a former Oregonian it's really just a trickle. Satisfied with my answer I let out a “harumph!” I close my eyes as it hits me… My internal dialogue has turned on me, poking fun at these minute changes that have taken hold over this last year and a half.
What's changed, you ask? Well, me, obviously. It's interesting to note how our lovers affect change within us and we just fail to see what's right in front of us… My girlfriend's mannerisms are funny and dorky. I don't think I should share them with you, though; for as Captain Miller stated in Saving Private Ryan: “No, no that one I save just for me.”
What I can you is that I've taken on some of this… “idiosyncrasies,” if you will. Love is a funny, terrible, wonderful thing; just when you think you got it all figured out, it throws you a curve ball and you're expecting a heater all the way. Whiff! Swing and a miss, go take a seat. That's what love can be like, for me, sometimes.
It's mornings like this, where my eyes refuse to be shut in complete defiance of weary and dreary mind, that I realize how good I've got it. In so many ways I've got it good. I've done more to get myself fired from a job in two days than I've done in almost twenty years. But that's work and work can kiss my Snow White ass… In spite of the stupid things I do, I'm left standing, feeling undeserving for a moment while I ponder my good fortune; still droplets of water pelt the window and soggy alley way, just letting me know not to go free balling over to the 7-11 for a… early morning, um, snack?
I'm going to rest and think about those quirky things my girl does to make me smirk each day… Perhaps that's what will put this active mind to rest.