The Reason For Dating.

Why does anyone date? It seems a pretty obvious answer to a rather simple question, one would think. But I've talked to a bunch of different people with a bunch of different answers to that very question. Some date just to, well, just to sow their “seeds,” if you will. Some date purely for the chase; can they get what they want in/from someone else. While most others, I feel, date to meet that special someone to settle down with. These aren't the only reasons why people date, but a few of the more common ones.

Dating is a very normal and social activity. One that many people don't take full advantage of. Part of the reason for that is that there's a single minded focus on what a person is looking for in another. Personally, I date to find a woman who can deal with the fact that I smell like boiled cabbage and sweat socks, but won't mind my awful, awful jokes. Well, that's one reason, but I have many others, too! But dating gets us to become more comfortable with ourselves and with meeting new people, which are topics I'll touch upon in this entry.

Why Date?

Why would you want to date? Why would anyone to go out with a morbidly obese person that they met off of a sales call from Great Expectations without knowing what that morbidly obese person looked like??? Since I'm the one that did that, I can tell you that I was genuinely curious what kind of fun I could have by playing a bit of Russian Roulette. It back fired, that time. I took the bullet, so to speak… But I'd do it again… well, provided that my telemarketer-date doesn't try anything funny. It's hard to fend off an inspired and boldly built woman, let me tell you.I think the best reason there is for dating is, simply, to meet new people. If you're dating to meet new people and make some connections in the process; you're guaranteed to add some amazing people to your life, regardless of whether or not things work out romantically.

I've been fortunate to get some pretty amazing friends out of dating. Now, you may think to yourself “Well, he's got no game if he's in the friendship boat…” Well, sorta? I guess. The point isn't always to score a round trip ticket to someone's nether regions; spending a lot of time not ‘getting it' provided me this nugget of wisdom while crying myself to sleep every night from loneliness. Remember, too, that these relationships you forge only increase your social influence and open up the opportunity to meet even more people. I guess my point here is that even if you don't make a love match with each new person you go on a date with, it's okay. They could positively affect your life in ways you never imagined and introduce you to new people in the process.

Dating to move outside of our comfort zone.

We become familiar, accepting and comfortable with things that we know intimately. It can be difficult to change our scenery; how we look at things and how we go about our lives when we've arrived at a level of comfort. Dating, or even approaching someone new can be difficult to someone who isn't used to doing so on a regular basis. That's fine, it's not the end of the world. Dating can help with this. You have to be in a position to meet new people. And there's a number of ways to do that. Volunteering to do charity work in something that interests you. Sign up for a dating website. Signing up for some sort of activity like tennis, jogging or any other group activity where you can meet like minded people that share your interests. We grow more, as people, when we step outside of our comfort zone. Doing so can lead to becoming more confident, especially when do it more often.

Now, I like to dance. I suck at dancing, however. I have all of the coordination of a dead fish. I step on people when I dance. But I've never taken a dancing class, fearing the admonishment I'd receive from impatient instructors. One night I decided to give a salsa class a try. It was a ton of fun, I got to meet a bunch of awesome women and had a blast!! Now, I wasn't on a date; but I'd certainly take a date to an open dancing class, or even a beginning private dance class. However, I think that the open dance classes you might find at dance clubs/salsa bars are ideal. They are less formal and stressful. It's really a great way to lower the walls and get to know someone else while having some fun.

Finding Out What We Want

Dating can also help us determine what we are really looking for and what things we can and cannot deal with. For myself, I realized that I could deal with women who smoked. It's a habit that I do scoff at, but found that in the end it didn't bother me so much. I also learned that, even though I kinda like taller women, for instance, I could deal with ‘bite-sized Betties,' (aka short) too. I know that many people make out lists of what they do and don't want… It's good to have such things in mind. However, until you're really faced with some of these list-items and choosing how to deal with them on the fly, you just don't know what you really can/can't deal with.

Personally, I tend to err on the side of open mindedness, which I understand isn't for everyone; after all, “you don't need to eat a whole bowl of soup to know that it's no good.” There's a delicate balance in figuring out just how much you want to learn on ‘on the fly' as opposed to just sticking to your gut instinct. I recommend finding a balance of the two that way you can leave the door open to experimentation. I do recommend the blind date with a telemarketer, I'm just sayin'.

In the End…

It's all about having fun and meeting someone who has faults you can deal with. There's a lot of self discovery in the process and that's why dating is necessary. To help us fill those gaps in our personality that we don't know about or pay attention to. Getting out there and dating also provides a healthy means to meet people who may have a positive and lasting impact on your life…

What ever the case may be, there's a lot of reasons you should date, that is, assuming you're single in the first place.

Have some fun with it and don't take it too seriously.

Author Profile

Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.

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