Another Word on Sex and Research with Amy Muise
Long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away, I conducted interviews with three sex reseachers, Amy Muise, Jocelyn Wentland and Kristen Mark. Those first two interviews can be found, here and here. This being the last one, is with Amy Muise. With that, I'm gonna let her take it away. Did I mention what a hottie she is? Whoo whee!
As sex researchers, what trends do you see during economic hardship?
Amy Muise: Hardship in the economy actually decreases hardness in the bedroom (or anywhere else you might have sex). Researchers have found that people have less sex during an economic recession (but they still use porn – just mostly free internet porn). One reason is that people experience higher levels of stress and anxiety when financial times are tough and this decreases libido. Another reason is that an economic downturn is not the best time to have children, so evolution may be partially to blame for decreased sex drive during a recession.
Sex decreases stress (and using birth control can reduce the chances of having children) and can be accessed relatively cheaply (depending), so an economic recession is actually a good time to be having more sex.
What are some interesting facts about sexuality you've run across in your studying of sex?
Amy Muise: Here are a number of findings from my own and other people’s research:
-Facebook contributes to jealousy in relationship – when women feel jealous they “creep” more on FB, whereas men avoid looking at their partner’s page
-The number one way that undergrads initiate contact with a potential partner is via text message (but they still think that calling is most appropriate when you are asking someone out on a date)
-Being naked more (and having professional pictures taken of yourself naked – erotic photos) makes women feel better about their bodies and their sexuality.
-The reasons why you have sex with your partner in a long term relationship are more important for your sexual desire than how often you have sex
-This one I just learned today on twitter from another hot Canadian sex researcher: Blowjobs happen on their own, but going down on a girl often also includes a blowjob or sex.
the occupation of sex researcher can be a hindrance on the dating scene (surprising I know!). Some guys are intimidated or feel that they their performance is being evaluated by an “expert” and this makes them nervous.
Who's wanting to “do it” more? Men or women?
Amy Muise: Researchers have consistently found that in general men have higher sexual desire than women, however, this does not mean that women do not like or want or desire sex. Some women have very high desire, just like some men have low desire. Jos can tell you more about this from her research on highly sexual women.
Why do couples lose that lustful “jack rabbit” sex drive? Do they get complacent? How can they overcome it?
Amy Muise: Often sexual desire does decline over the course of a relationship. In the beginning stages, the relationship is new and exciting and all you can think about is being with your partner, and being naked with your partner. However, it is difficult to maintain this type of intensity in the long term. Most people continue to have regular sex in long-term relationships, but their desire for sex is typically lower/less intense/less spontaneous.
In the early stages, for most people, they experience frequent, spontaneous desire for their partner. The relationship is less stable, and while this has it’s own challenges, that anxiety can be very good for your sexual desire. As you become more committed and stable, you experience less anxiety and often less sexual desire.
Here are some things you can do:
-Realize that desire does not always occur before sex. Sometimes you may not be in the “mood” for sex, but once you get going, you will likely get into it and be happy you did it.
-Do something adventurous or novel with your partner. You feel a sense of arousal when you engage in a novel, exciting activity and you will attach this arousal to the person with whom you are doing the activity.
-Make sex a priority. It is not necessarily a bad thing to schedule time to be close to your partner. It might turn out to something fun and exciting to look forward to. If you think your desire needs a boost, schedule a sex date instead of a dinner date.
How do people react to you when you tell them you are a “sex researcher”?
Amy Muise: I think my SRBFFs would agree that once you reveal that your occupation is a sex researcher you become the most popular person at the party … everyone has questions about sex and relationships.
However, sometimes the occupation of sex researcher can be a hindrance on the dating scene (surprising I know!). Some guys are intimidated or feel that they their performance is being evaluated by an “expert” and this makes them nervous.
It also compels a lot of really cheesy pick-up lines (Do you need a research assistant?) and dumb questions (So what do you do to get a PhD in sex, have sex and watch porn all day?).
To date a sex researcher, you have to be confident, open and comfortable with your sexuality.
Amy Muise: Thanks for your questions – best of luck with the threesome/foursome sex research post.
(It should go without saying that no amount of luck in the world got me close to enticing these lovely sex researchers. #iFail)
Online Dating News & Advice Right in Your Inbox
By signing up, you agree to our Privacy Notice and European users agree to the data transfer policy.