It's been a while since our last Ask the Urban Dater segment, so we've got a good number to go through. You'd think we'd take care of the oldest one first. Nope. That's not how I'm rolling this time. I'm answering this one due to the sheer criticality of the situation. One of our dear brothers, Jack Hammer, is in a bit of a pickle, you see. So let's see what we can do here…
Jack Hammer asks:
My wife does not like giving or receiving oral sex, I love both! What can I do to convince her to give it a try?
Short, sweet and to the point. I like that!
I was watching Serenity the other day and a quote from that movie came to mind, from the Operative character: “If your quarry goes to ground, leave no ground to go to…” There's a lot of wisdom there. Essentially what I'm getting at is this: Define the objections your woman has toward oral and then cleverly address/remove spoken objections.
Look buddy, there's a few different reasons why women are not down with oral. In my experience, most women tend to err on the side of being self-conscious about the act of Oral Sex. They may fiel it's dirty, classless, smelly, stinky; perhaps they were traumatized from crying while giving BJs to Truck Drivers in Barstow. So, which is it with your lady?
The idea here to create a sexual connection of some sort to the act and to how it makes you feel and how it can make her feel. There are ways to address however it is that she feels and the following are but a couple examples.
If it's a dirty thing and she fears your penis smells like vinegar and boiled cabbage, then I suggest that you guys take the action to a shared shower and get freaky with some foreplay… Women love that shit. I believe it was Sun Tzsu that said that… I could be wrong, though.
If that fails just let her know how oral makes you feel and how you want to make HER feel. Communication is one of those other things them women like to do, too.