Handling Rejection | the Urban Dater

Rejected — image via – http://www.urbanchristiannews.com/

As I was on the phone with my friend last night, I got an alert from Google Analytics. I set up alerts for when I get a spike in traffic from a few different referral sources. In this case it was Tumblr…

Following the spike led me to someone's blog. This someone is a gal I went on two dates with. So let's give her a name… Jan. Jan sounds good! So, more about Jan.

Earlier in the day I got a text from Jan to see if we were still on to meet up in the evening. I texted back that I was cancelling and that in didn't think things were a good fit. She'd texted after our last date but I didn't reply. While I was physically attracted to this person, that “spark” just wasn't there. It wasn't right. I'd kinda hoped that she would have gotten the hint.

But she didn't.

So this gal has a Tumblr and wrote a flurry of stuff that was full of fury. It started anxiously and built up into an explosion of hurt and anger… Citing a few quotes from posts on this blog. She came to the conclusion that was a manipulative, piece of shit, sociopath, fucking asshole. Who are you calling manipulative, lady?

In essence she's taken rejection to a new and exciting place!

I did make an effort to reach out to her after reading her posts, but she didn't want to talk. She'd made up her mind. If reality is an uncolored coloring book, then perception is the box of crayons and what you do with them… We're ultimately a blank canvas upon which people project their hopes, dreams, fears and insecurities. That's okay; it's certainly nothing new.

This blog is easy to find and I don't make an effort to hide it. Most of the women I go out with know about it before they go out with me… Some like it, some don't. It makes for a good filter. And apparently if you read enough if it you may just come to the conclusion that I don't deserve to exist on this planet. That's fine, too.

It's just rejection. Pure and simple. That's all. Nothing more, nothing less. If a person rejects you it doesn't mean they are a sociopath, necessarily, it could just mean they're just not that into you. It happens. After a date or two a person can figure things out… On the flip-side of that a person can develop feelings too… That's one of the things that happened here, which made things worse apparently.

Rejection is a strange thing to handle. It can be empowering when you are the one rejecting and cruel when you're the one getting rejected. I, too, had been rejected just a short 16 hours before I'd sent my text to Jan. I didn't shit myself and complain to the internet… Or did I? When getting rejected it's a good time to reflect on yourself, to look inward and take an emotional/mental inventory…

Jan's not too keen on that apparently… Best of luck to that crazy gal.

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Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.