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Weddings Are Gross!

Weddings. The ultimate celebration of commitment and love… You know, all the scary stuff. Ugh! You know, though, I do love me a good wedding. A good wedding is one where I don’t have to rise and sit repeatedly. To me a good wedding lasts longer than the average drunken romp, which, according to a drunken Cornell Researcher, is about three minutes. Yep, I like weddings to be short, sweet and to the point.

There’s much made about weddings; so much go into them: the suits, suites, food, brides maids, the bride and her dress. It’s enough to make Admiral Adama say “Frak” and punch a Cylon in the face (who has two thumbs and is a total dork? This guy!) . I’ve never been a part of a wedding, not even in a wedding party, though, I was asked once. Oh! Then there were the three or so times last year that I presided over a wedding, that was special.

I’ve got my date, my gal, (she’d be pissed if I brought anyone else) offering herself up as my “arm-candy.” She does a nice job of it, too! Though, I’m a bit… worried?? Yes! Worried; worried that my gal is going to demand that I sweep her off her feet and throw the wedding veil atop her head and demand my ring finger in holy matrimony!!! Gyaaargh! The nerve! What a complete ‘tosser,’ I tell you!

We have seen it time and time again, people get anxiety about weddings. Feelings of inadequacy always rears its ugly head. Even I have felt that, especially when family asks: “Dude, when are you gonna get married already?” “Shut your pie hole, Uncle Poo Poo Face!” is how I’d reply to such questions. I suppose my realization is that many people, even us guys, get anxious about weddings sometimes.

These feelings don’t crop up simply because there’s a wedding; these feelings are always there, pushed down and kept dormant. I sometimes question the direction I’m headed, is it the right one for a wife and family? Sure, of course it is! My gal recently asked me how I felt about marriage; if I wanted to get hitched some day. I replied flatly, “To you? Gross!” She didn’t like that so much. I wasn’t ready to answer that question, apparently.

As my fingers tap away on this keyboard I’m reminded of something I heard, it’s a quote but I just don’t know where it’s from. So it goes: “When I became a man, I put away childish things.” I think there is something beautiful in that line.
Stuff to ponder, kids.

Author profile

Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.

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4 Comments

  1. Deep stuff! I've often told men-folk that I'm not the marrying kind while desperately hoping that someday someone will Heart me enough to ask me to stick around for Good.

    p.s. even though I've been proposed to twice now…long story.

  2. Love this one. You are such a boy!
    Give us girls a break. We are naturally more emotional and sometimes it takes everything inside of us to NOT let our date catch us crying during the vows. We know you guys are already freaked out just attending one with us. So, we try our best to not get all geeked out to freak you out even more.
    Be sure to tell your girl how pretty she looks on that particular day. Just something we all want to hear on a day when everyone is looking at the woman in white.

    1. Pretty awesome advice, shorty. =) I'll be sure to do that! =) Drink a few for me this weekend. Order up a Dead Nazi, too!

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