Why the heck am I writing about the Golden Girls in the first place? It does seem rather odd. I was with the gal I'm seeing and we got on the topic of the Golden Girls. We got on that topic because that was what she was watching when I showed up to her place, which I thought was odd. My grandmother watched ‘Golden Girls.' Not only that, but the girl I'm seeing also watches the Golden Girls… It all got me to thinking, kids.
Watching an episode of the Golden Girls with Lacy was interesting to say the least. By the Power of St. Olaf I was ready to break the TV with my face!!! I couldn't stand it. Then Blanch struts in with her “36 year old” figure going on about the shoes she had purchased. Something clicked. Sure, Blanch is a cougar, as are all the rest of the Golden Girls, but I realized that the Golden Girls were pioneers!
They were pioneers in the sense that they were older cougar-iffic sex slamming women in Florida taking names and getting some ass. They got play, even Bea Arthur, Dorothy, was getting a piece and what a throaty asshole of a women she was. Betty White was the innocent buffoon of the group, Rose, that dropped acid once too many times in the town square of St. Olaf. Blanch was the home wrecking-man devouring sex fiend using her wiles to woo boys and men of all ages. She was so bad! Then there was Dorothy's mom, played memorably by Estelle Getty, who was actually younger than Bea Arthur by a year.
They compared quite well with the Sex in the City cast, it was pointed out to me by Lacy. Dorothy was clearly Carrie. Rose was certainly Charlotte and Blanch was the slutty one… I forget her name, but you know who I'm talking about; the character played so well by Kim Cattrall.
It was obvious that were it not for the ‘Golden Girls' there would not have been ‘Sex in the City' or that awful, horrible, ‘Lipstick Jungle.'
That said, if ever hear “Back in St. Olaf…” again I'm going to just do the whole hari kari thing and get it over with… I'm just sayin'.
Until next time ladies, don't make your guy watch the Golden Girls.