There I was, plopped comfortably on my faux leather couch, catching up on my RSS subscriptions to my fave Bloggers when I came across an article from @missalphawrites of missalphawrites.blogspot.com. The article in question is titled ‘Players Anonymous.’ First off, hilarious. It covers a number of different topics for those newly dubbed boyfriend or woman, get me a sandwich! In particular the topic about flirting caught my eye. My girlfriend, Lucy, has made it known that she doesn’t like the fact that I’m a flirting adept. “Complete nonsense!” as I dismissed her claim. Surely I was merely being friendly, right? I mean, RIGHT?
In thinking about my perceived harmless flirting I started to analyze it and such. Sure, I tend to be talkative and chatty; I’m not super outgoing, but I don’t fear striking up a conversation with a stranger… That is, except for that strange dude offering BJs for coke; sorry Bob Saget, no buyers here.
Lucy commented on my flirtatious behavior with the concierge desk at a hotel, on a trip we went on. At the grocery store she commented on it again. At the bar, in my car, on skid row by Mac Arthur Park; it didn’t matter. I FLIRT there for I, err… Look, I don’t know where I was going with that, but I needed to understand my own nature and reconcile that with the fact that I’m in a relationship now.
Please excuse my progress as I kick back my flirtatious ways a notch. Sorry, cute bar maiden. No witty poor attempt at witty banter from me today. I’m sorry, Boobs O’Hoolihan, but I cannot be bothered to make suggestive flirty conversation with your heaping, heaving lady bits. No, that sort of behavior needs to be locked down indefinitely, or, at least, out of the earshot of my gal, lest she kick me in the face. There’s a fetish for that, by the way. Just sayin’.
No, I’m not changing something I don’t want to change. I’m merely growing into what’s become a good relationship with a good girl. It’s a part of how a couple evolves and develops with one another. While I saw my flirting as innocent, Lucy felt slighted and a bit hurt that I was doing this in front of her face. To her credit, she was very classy with how she addressed my behavior: “Hey, cock face, way to flirt with the help. Maybe next time you can just finish her up in the men’s room.” Okay, she didn’t say that, but she was clear in stating she didn’t care for my flirty antics. I respected her feelings and have scaled it back when we’re out and about.
I put on a burka and avert the eyes of every woman I see now.
Until next time, people, getting a woman to kick you in the face is about $300 bucks depending on your location…. The More You Know!