The Anatomy of a Crazy Text Message.
Men have it tough! You women are scary, scary creatures. A crazy woman, theoretically, could beat the snot out of platoons of trained killers. Imagine the carnage if Xerxes unleashed an army of crazy women on Sparta. 300 doesnβt get made. Damn. Thatβs extreme!
The power of text messaging is pretty amazing. Itβs amazing because one can really send out messages and express their thoughts and feelings and take the time to craft them appropriately. Sure, we canβt βfeelβ text messages, the absence of tone and emotion, among other things, make it quite difficult to decipher what the true meaning of text message are sometimes.
That said, ladies, take heed; the following is a string of text messages from a crazy woman to a good buddy of mine. Donβt be crazy! Stop it! That said, read on:
Iβll paint the picture for you. My friend, Rod, recently broke up with his girlfriend. He was looking for some non-committed coitus. While out at a local bar, he spies a good-looking girl. They talk; exchange numbers and plans to meet on a Monday are set in motion. They met, I believe on a Friday or Thursday. The girl in this story is Melina.
Melina: Canβt wait to see you on Monday!
Rod: Me too! Should be fun
Melina: I wish we could see each other sooner
Rod: I canβt. Got too much stuff going on. Good things come to those who wait.
Melina: I canβt assume anything hun. You have ur friends and a busy sched. So I canβt force myself into it and babe, if u have questions, ask away
A Day Laterβ¦
Rod: Ahem, you have called me like 6 times today, lol
Melina: On accident! My ass called you! I do want to see you!
Melina: love to c u but made a promise and yes called a bunch of times on purpose and accident to hear your voice, so there. Ttu soon.
Rod: Please, donβt call me so much. I know you want to talk to me but I have things Iβm doing. I will get back to you as soon as I can. I know that one call was an accident due to the msg. Weβll just have to wait till Monday.
Melina: I never knew that was a problem. Got it. Just wanted to clarify and just donβt answer like you havenβt been doing, you still donβt get charged. Bye
Rod: What? Iβm confused about the second half of your message Iβm not answering because Iβm at a party and I think it would be rude to talk. (Rod, has told this girl to chill out a few times now..)
Melina: You told me not to call so much and Iβm sorry I did. Just wanted to clarify the accidental calls. Have fun and Iβll talk to you when Iβm allowed.
Rod: Allowed? To call me huh? Maybe u didnβt mean it that way, but I donβt like the way that sounded
Melina: You know I like you. Thatβs not a secret. I guess Iβll just talk to you later. Good night, be safe and have fun.
Melina: I donβt call to annoy u or re-emphasize that Iβm on your cock. I like you, thatβs it. If I choose to call you because I like to talk to you, thatβs a diffβ story
Melina: I like you, Rod, but donβt like the assumption that Iβm on your shit. Let it go already.
Melina: Iβm really buzzed and am being a bitch. Look, have fun and forget what my dumbass has to say. I like you paisa, A LOT, letβs mak.
Several minutes later, with Rod at the party, still. Rod goes to drain fertilize the Petunias and Melina calls on his phone, which he left at a table with his other friendsβ¦
Melina: Donβt call me ever again! (She had spoken to Rodβs friend, and hung up on the guy)
Rod: Wow. That was my buddy. He wanted to talk to you and say hi. Didnβt mean to make you angry
Melina: yeah but Iβm being compared to what you want. Iβm done.
Melina: Heβs letting me know what Iβd known for a bit. Youβre not over her, so what the fuck and I supposed to do? Sit here and look stupid. I highly doubt it. Work it out with her, Rod. Itβs what you want.
Rod: No, thatβs not what he or I said. He said that Iβm just dealing with some shit right now, which is true. Itβs not like Iβm going to go back to her. Iβm a bit hurt and need to work that out. I do like you and like talking to you. Several calls a day is too much for me right now. I just want to relax and spend some time hanging out. I think you are overreacting.
Melina: Then donβt text me or call me back. Do what you gotta do and if we donβt hang on Monday, Iβm good with it. Tired of giving too much to people who donβt deserve me.
Melina: Iβm seriously done, if you are. The last thing I want is to look stupid and if Iβm a rebound, which your friends even think I am, let me fucking go. Bye.
Melina: No reaction? What I thought! DO me a favor and never contact me again. Oh wait, apparently Iβm the only reason why. Sorry, that will fucking end right now!
These texts are from after the partyβ¦
Melina: Hi. Donβt remember much of why we argued last night but I do know it started because of me. Iβm so sorry. I know your friend didnβt mean anything bad by what he said, but it struck a nerve to hear about her and immediately hurt my feelings. I want to talk to you later tonight about it. Please let me know if your lack of response makes me feel like shouldnβt even bother.
Rod: I have been thinking about this all day actually and I donβt think it will work out between us. I donβt mean to hurt u in anyway and u shouldnβt feel stupid I just donβt think youβre right for me. I wish u nothing but the best.
Melina: I will get back to you in detail in a bit. Iβm a lil confused. Not that will change anything.
Rod: Sorry that you are confused. I donβt know how to make it more clear. I donβt think we are right for each other and I donβt think itβs a good idea for us to hang out, Iβm sorry.
Melina: no. I get the fact that we wonβt be hanging. Iβm a little dumb but not stupid. Plus no need to be sorry or feel sorry. I maybe impulsive life thinking about maybes and wishing for something or someone I canβt have. My emotions are strong and I do let them show but am still very protective of them. It sucks that we wonβt talk anymore because both you and I know at least that was fun. I wanted to say this to you through a phone call. But I didnβt. Plus no need to come off like ur breaking up with me. U donβt owe me anything. I was just confused about the fact that u were so eager to see me.
The day after they were supposed to meetβ¦
Melina: If I came off like a bitch the other day Iβm sorry. I was really drunk and again, Iβm the only person that should look out for ME and protect MY emotions
Melina: Just wanted to make sure what I sent was clear. I will do you the favor of never getting back to you, no worries.
Another day passes. Notice the lack of responses from Rodβ¦
Melina: Look you donβt have to say anything, but I honestly donβt feel good about anything that has happened between us, as much as I want you to I donβt expect you to understand
Melina then used a friendβs phone to call Rod, so heβd pick upβ¦ He hung up on herβ¦
Rod: You told me you were done and I have left it at that. Iβm sorry but I donβt want to talk anymore.
Melina (Still from a friendβs phone): My feelings were hurt. I was a bitch. I know. Let me at least talk to you, please. I miss my friend. We didnβt even end things properly. I donβt know how to say the wordsβ¦
Melina: Please hear me out, Rod. Call me, please.
A week later or so, no other text messages untilβ¦
Melina: Please just hear what I have to say. I am so sad and just want you to listen to me for a minute. I donβt expect you to change your mind.
Melina: At least tell me that Iβm full of shit or something. I am not ashamed to say I am begging you for a minute of your time.
Melina Donβt blame a girl fro still trying. I miss your ass. Please forgive me.
Melina: What can I do to have you forgive me?
Melina: Rod, I miss you!
Melina: Iβm so stupid to have lost someone like you. The two weeks we spent talking allowed me to finally BE me and Iβm truly grateful, please find it in your heart to take me back. I know YOU know we had an amazing connection even as friends. Donβt deny that. We at least had that chemistry.
A few days laterβ¦
Melina: This sucks! Iβm in OC and weβre not even talking, the irony of shit. (Thatβs not irony, thatβs just crazy)
No responses from Rod in about two weeksβ¦
Melina: Iβm thinking about you and want to say hello -(
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LMAO!!
I have to say that I've experienced this from the Male species as well and in fact just had to report a phone number to my wireless carrier. But honestly this was a brilliant example of crazy chic texting.
I'm telling you, I didn't think these text messages happened, it wasn't until my friend, Rod, started showing me the evidence. Wow. Just. Wow.
My god, I have no words to describe how absurdly funny this is. I'm almost glad that batshit mad Melindas exist in the world because they make me look AWESOME. As long as Melindas continue to terrorize the male population, I can always say, "Well, at least I'm not THAT fool." Then my dream guy and I will have a laugh about it, whereupon he appreciates how cool and balanced I seem, asks me out, and we live happily ever after.
Thank you, Melinda.
Man-Shopper? Nice! =)
Yes, you now have evidence that you are more awesome than this crazy chica. We guys are pretty bad, too, though. I know I was, back in the day. Stories to share for another time.
I have many opinions and one chapter about texting issues. They have near destroyed many a times. Grrrr.
Cool blog! I usually get ticked off at guys comments but I laughed my ass off at these… keep up the good work! π
Wow, I didn't know the extent of crazy texting until just this moment. She is literally talking to herself and publicizing it. At least when I'm doing it, I make sure no-one is around.
Yikes, thanks for sharing. I think.
These text messages were so irritating to read that I wanted to stop reading it but I couldn't. What a joke of a chick. This girl is so insecure it's not even funny.
OMG this was hilarious.
I agree with Deanna… I've gotten this from men as well. Sad sad sad. And scary.
.-= Maruska Morena´s last blog ..SXSW: The Non-Date Date =-.
that is completely and totally f'n insane!!! atleast he didnt meet up with her!
If she's as hot as she is crazy I think Rod may prefer the rod.
Holy shit wow lol seriously!?!?!! What is wrong with this chick! I'm a girl but damn that's wayyyy to needy & clingy!!! I drunk txt but nothingggg like that! Everytime I thought I was done reading there was more!! Sounds like some guys I've met & given my # which is then a pain to change or stop. Very entertaining tho so thanks!
ok SO i have been guilty of over texting but OMG wow! great stuff! Thats why Verizon is awesome and you can block someone! Too bad they only have five spots! LOL!
My recent post What women really want…
The more she tries to explain herself in those texts, the deeper a hole she digs. Girlfriend needed to shut off her phone for at least 48 hours and tame that neediness! Guy probably (and rightfully) thinks she is a psycho…even though she’s really probably just lonely. Bottom line? She blew it! How do I know? Because I’ve been “that girl” in the past and kick myself in the butt for it. lol Texting and dating/bad combination.