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Blogging & Dating: 2009 in Review.

2009 has been an interesting and good year to me, much more so than that jerky 2008 ever was.  Asshole!  Anyway, I've taken time to really think about what 2009 has meant to me, with respect to dating and blogging, and what I've learned from it all.

  • Blogging about my dating exploits – We officially started this blog a little over a year ago.  I've learned a lot of things that I was surprised by.  You see, this site began as an experiment.  The experiment was to see how to go about generating traffic and interest for a blogging site.  Dating and relationships were always a common topic amongst friends and so it was something I felt comfortable writing about.  A funny thing happened.  It turned that I really, really enjoyed blogging and sharing my personal experiences and opinions on the subject of dating and relationships.  I'd never fancied myself as much of a writer; I still think I need a lot of help there.  However, it's been great fun for me and blogging has helped me meet and connect with numerous brilliant and amazing bloggers.  It really has been an amazing unexpected gift.
  • Blogging platforms and growing pains – The site began as not only a blog, but a dating community site as well where people could create profiles and connect with each other… Yeah, that didn' work out so well.  The blog was buggy, at best and the community garnered little to no interest.  So we reviewed the site traffic and content and decided to stick to a blog based format.  We then ported the blog to WordPress and, I must say, it's made all the difference, I feel.  In addition to posting regular content (just check out the number of posts for the last few months) the SEO value that WordPress provies “out of the box” has been huge as well.  We've learned a lot there.  If you're going to blog, try self hosting your blog and I'd highly recommend WordPress or Typepad.  If you have questions about any of that, contact us! We're happy to help.
  • How many women can I date at the same time before I break the bank – Four.  Yes, I was dating four women at one point.  I thought I was actually doing pretty well at that time, too.  Then I find men and women dating well over that… All of the women I was seeing at that time I was seeing only on a very casual basis.  Things add up quickly, really quickly.  Dinner for two here, a couple drinks there times four (being me, I generally tend to pay if I ask the girl out) really drains a pay check.  So I learned to scale it back and focus my energies on one or two at a time.  I also learned that if a gal is really interested in your, she tends to be more assertive in picking up the tab… What does that tell me now?  Hmmm.
  • Sometimes getting back together with an ex is a bad idea – I had been in a relationship with this woman for over a year and things just didn't work out.  Well, several months later we revisited that relationship only to find that, yeah, it still wasn't going to work out… Lame, right?  Truly, a good connection isn't enough without underlying depth to the relationship and no matter how many times you watch the same movie, it ends the same way.
  • Forget what I just said… – In a complete contradiction to what I just wrote, sometimes getting back together with a flame is a good thing.  I learned that there are times when you can “go back.”  There are times when a relationship doesn't really get a chance to work.  I had that happen, I had to back out of a relationship to get some things figured out in my own life, deal with my own baggage as it were.  I was fortunate to be able to come back into a relationship that didn't really get a chance the first go-round.  Things, thus far, have been really good.
  • Being responsible with other peoples' feelings – So there have been women that I've gone out with in the past and I would “do the fade” if I wasn't interested.  That is, I would disappear and pretty much ignore a gal that was no longer into.  Immature.  This is a lesson that should have been learned long ago.  Treating people with respect should be a no brainer.  Fading out is disrespectful.  I've made an effort to be more up front with my feelings and what I'm thinking.  Sure, there are times when these thoughts and feelings have to be dragged out of me, but I still come out and say what I mean and what I feel.  If I hadn't come to that realization I wouldn't be in the relationship I'm in now.
  • One night stands are still plenty of fun – Yes, I've been used a few times this year.  Yes, I felt dirty and cheap and like a piece of meat… But it was sooo much fun.  =)  I know, punch me now.
  • I still appeal to cougars – Yaaaaay!  Yep, I was out on a date actually and I was at a bar known for it's older crowd.  I was walking across the bar when an older lady yanks at my collar. “I LOVE your shirt.  What are you wearing?”  I do love them older women that know what they want.
  • The art of hanging out with an ex. – Yes there is an art to hanging out with an ex.
  • I have a new love – Hendricks Gin. I love that stuff!!!  I should be a spokesperson for them.  That gin has sustained me through some interesting dates.

Author profile

Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.

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