Why should you immediately approach the hottest girl at the bar? It sounds like a silly question. All single men reading this will tell themselves they'd do it. But so few actually do – because of the fear.
The hottest girl at the bar is always the hardest to approach. She's usually the girl who's surrounded by huge groups of guys or going wild with her friends on the dance floor. She's having drinks bought for her. She's sending men packing like they're strapped to a bungee cord.
The thought of approaching this angel can turn even the most assured man into stone.
He tells himself he's not good enough for this beautiful stranger before even getting to know her. The fear of a bad reaction prevents him from ever finding out for himself. He makes excuses to rationalise this anxiety, and carries on living his life.
You'll always feel resistance when thinking about hitting on the hottest women. You'll feel it when engaging in any behaviour associated with pain, danger or embarrassment. This resistance is romance's worst enemy. Find a way to fight through it.
Even if you don’t get the dream girl, there’s plenty of reasons to approach her as soon as you enter the bar.
Eliminating approach anxiety
Ironically, the hottest girl at the bar barely gets approached as much as others – and the dudes who do approach are often dumbfounded with anxiety. Many will put on a front of fake confidence or go in with a half-hearted effort to say hello. They expect to be rejected. No wonder she doesn't wait to send these men on their way. She’s probably dying to speak to a cool guy who can just be himself.
So, how can you convert this fake confidence into authentic self-assurance around females? You have to find a way to lose the fear. After all, confidence is essentially just an absence of fear.
The easiest way to eliminate fear is to take on similar challenges that are ten times tougher – and that’s why you should chat up the hottest chick as soon as you set foot in the venue.
It’s the toughest thing to do, but just do it. Even if she’s surrounded by dudes. Even if she’s a foot taller than you. Stay in the conversation even when it gets uncomfortable. You may not get the girl, but you faced your fear.
Even if it goes horribly, it’ll help you in the long run. Suddenly, chatting up the other cute girls at the bar won’t seem half as hard. You’ll relax knowing that no situation will seem as intimidating as that first one. And this relaxed manner will improve others impressions of you, making you appear much more attractive.
Creating core confidence
Get in the habit of chatting up the hottest girls, while you’re still sort of sober. You’ll be able to remember where you went wrong and get better with every attempt.
Eventually, you’ll become a natural at hitting on the hottest woman. It seems impossible at first, but eventually it becomes as effortless as making breakfast. You won’t be nervous because you’ve done it so often. You’re no longer the dude who doesn’t know what he’s doing.
That’s when you’ll spark her attention. The only way you’ll eventually get the hottest girls is to throw yourself into these situations. You’ll cultivate this core confidence that all girls find irresistible – and ultimately become that guy that the hottest chicks WANT to talk to.
It’s a long road to becoming this guy, but all it takes is the bravery to step up and say ‘hi' to the hottest chick.You’ll get blown out a lot, but it’s ultimately worth it. It’s the only way you’ll end up with that perfect girl.
Joe Elvin is a dating/relationships blogger based in London. His book 'The Thrill Of The Chase', which explains how to truly thrive in singledom, was published in 2017. Download the first chapter for free at eepurl.com/c-cmGP.