Break-ups can be rough. In fact, some scientific studies suggest they cause actual pain to the human body.
A 2014 experiment suggested that thinking of our exes triggers activity in the same area of our brain that registers physical pain. Other symptoms reportedly include disturbed sleep and irrational heartbeats.
It may take ages to get over, but a broken heart is still far from a chronic condition. Here are five universal truths to help remind us there’s life after a failed relationship.
1.”This too shall pass.”
When you’re in love, it’s almost as if time stands still. Your head spins in a haze of delirium. It’s impossible to imagine a future without this fantastic feeling.
Yet, in reality, the world keeps spinning. The sun continues to rise and set. Emotions evolve. Relationships change. Each beautiful moment eventually passes.
Now you’re in a state of heartbreak, and it’s easy to forget that these painful moments too shall pass.
All emotions eventually fade. Time really does heal all wounds. Look back at the last lover you lost and how silly that sadness all seems now.
Even during your darkest days, happiness remains on the horizon.
- “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”
Bodybuilding is essentially about putting your muscles through so much strain that they break down. As they regenerate, they grow back strong enough to handle the pain next time. Well, the heart is a muscle too – and it does exactly the same.
To become strong enough for an unbreakable relationship, you need to have been through some emotional trauma. You need to have had your heart broken. Each time it happens, you have the opportunity to dust yourself down, learn where you went wrong and become a better man. Make sure you do so.
This process is essential to becoming the man who can withstand the stresses of raising a family. How else are you meant to be able to maintain a healthy marriage while up all hours changing nappies? How can you become the father that supports his spouse and children in sickness and health?
You might feel weak at the knees now, but this break-up will ultimately make you stronger.
- “It’s not over til’ the fat lady sings.”
The final whistle might have blown on your relationship, but there’s plenty of time left in your love-life. All the best adventures have an unexpected plot twist before the good guy gets the girl. And those who do take a break-up as an opportunity to become a better man tend to end up with a better girlfriend anyway.
Accept that your ex wasn’t meant to be the girl you get at the end credits.
- “We don’t value what comes easy.”
Break-ups are the roughest reminder that true love doesn't come easy.
The dating world can be fun, but it's full of disappointment. Men are expected to make the first move and this can be difficult to deal with, especially if you're too shy to even say ‘hi' to a girl you like. Then you have to navigate the text-message tennis, take them on dates, meet the parents etc.
It's a treacherous road to true love, but the truth is we should be grateful the path is so tough.
The fact that love is so hard to find is why it gives us the butterflies. We should be thankful that we found something that can make us so upset in the first place. It’s these highs and lows in life that makes feel us alive.
Anything worth doing is a little difficult. Finding love shouldn’t be as easy as finding a snack in the fridge. It’s a thrill ride not a pecan pie…and you’ve just found out the rollercoaster isn’t over.
You might have to get hurt ten times before you find the one perfect partner that transforms your life forever, but once you find them, it won’t be the one person that makes it feel so special. That person is just the final piece of the puzzle. Without those previous pieces, you wouldn’t know the puzzle was complete, so enjoy the challenge.
- “All good things come to an end.”
Even the most eye-catching flowers eventually wilt and die, but that doesn’t make them any less beautiful in the time they were alive.
Sadly, most relationships end on a sour note too, but again this doesn’t make the happy times any less special.
Every Oscar-winning film has an ending. So does every Shakespeare play, 80s power ballad and best-selling book. Celebrate what you created, then accept that it came to an end as well.
Now, you can look forward to the next chapter of your romance tale.
Joe Elvin is a dating/relationships blogger based in London. His book 'The Thrill Of The Chase', which explains how to truly thrive in singledom, was published in 2017. Download the first chapter for free at eepurl.com/c-cmGP.