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5 Ways to Fail at Being the Jealous Type.

Sure, you think you're a level headed self assured person.  Sure, you are probably the coolest boyfriend or girlfriend that a person could have.  You don't mind when the significant other goes out with their friends.  Not you!  You're a progressive and secure person… Or are you?

Jealousy doesn't always consume insecure types.  Sometimes curiosity gets the best of a person.  There was a girl I was dating once.  She had gone to the restroom and naturally left her phone at the bar with me.  She got a text message from some guy.  It read, “Hey sexy! What up?”  I was curious.  I wanted to know what was up… I did the asshole thing and looked through some of her texts.  I didn't fess up to it though.  Shame on me.  Seeing that text made me realize that I wasn't quite as secure with our relationship as I'd thought.  That said, there are some things we should take note of that will help us from being jealous douche bags.

  1. Avoid the urge to spy on your significant other.  This includes the above example.  Don't go through their phones, their emails or anything!  This is the surest way to tank your relationship and drive you nuts in the process. Respect each others' privacy.
  2. Don't listen in on phone calls or other conversations.  This is just as bad as going through a person's social network sites and such.  You could find yourself getting upset over nothing as you're only hearing one part of a conversation.
  3. Just because your significant other spends time with their friends and not you doesn't mean they aren't thinking about you.  This one is important to keep in check from the outset.  People need space and couples need their friends and to spend time alone with them.  People in a relationship still need their individuality, in my opinion; it's healthy!
  4. Don't be afraid to trust your special someone.  Often, issues can come up with a relationship because couples can't trust one another; they're afraid to.  Trust is the backbone of any successful relationship.  Where trust is absent heart ache thrives.
  5. Think before you act.  This one seems like it's academic, second nature really.  However, many of us are quick to react to something; a “shoot first and ask questions later” mentality.  This behavior can sink a relationship pretty quickly, too, even before they've had a chance to begin.  I remember dating a gal once and while she was pretty awesome, she just seemed to want to “push the action” and when I wasn't responsive to it she called things off with me, which was premature.  Shit happens though, does it not?  Think before you do.

No one wants to be the jealous type.  I mean, I don't consider myself to be the jealous sort.  I'd like to think that many people are not genuinely those who grow jealous easily.  With respect to relationships it's important to ignore those “little” temptations that can take you, in one bad decision, into that jealous personality type you've always loathed.

Author profile

Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.

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