We’ve probably all wondered at some point in our lives, “Why is it so hard to find true love?”
There are literally billions of people living on this planet, so why is it so difficult to find one person to put up with us? Both sexes experience a selection of stresses on the trek to that special person, but it’s men who are expected to step up and grab the girl of their dreams.
Some thrive in this situation, but most find it difficult to deal with. It can be terrifying even saying ‘hi’ to the type of girls that feature in our fantasies, let alone trying to date them.
And then there’s the heartbreak of attracting the perfect honey only to lose her.
We must all walk the treacherous road to true love. We might wish it was easier, but we should actually be grateful the path is so tough.
Heartbreak makes us stronger
Bodybuilding is essentially about putting your muscles through so much strain that they break down. The muscles eventually grow back stronger so they can take the pain next time. The heart is a muscle too – and it does exactly the same.
To become strong enough to satisfy the needs of a top-class woman, you need to have been through a bit of pain.
You need to have been rejected by random club rats. You need to have dates flake. You need to have had your heart broken. Each time you put your heart on the line and it’s trampled on, you have the opportunity to dust yourself off, learn from your mistakes and become a better man.
No wonder we tend to end up with better girlfriends whenever the pain of a heartbreak has healed. Most men who end up with perfect tens are those who have gotten over trauma again and again.
This process is essential to becoming a dependable man ready to settle down with his woman. How else can you become strong enough to cope the stresses of raising a family? With keeping a marriage alive when you’re up all hours changing nappies? With becoming the father who can support his spouse in sickness and health?
Heartbreak doesn’t just make us better partners. The pursuit of true love motivates us to improve ourselves in all sorts of ways. Many men better their intelligence, health and wealth in attempts to impress the opposite sex.
It’s not our only motivation. The legendary best-seller Think and Grow Rich presents ten inspirations that stimulate our brains into action. Sex and love sit at the top of this list alongside desire for fame, power, or financial gain.
Thank God they’re not easy for men to obtain. Can you imagine how lazy the human race would be if that were the case? Would we even have evolved from cavemen?
Enjoy the rollercoaster
If you’re recovering from a break-up or (arguably even worse) a dry spell, it’s going to be painful. Yet, without the pain of heartbreak and loneliness, we wouldn’t value companionship as highly as we do. The fact that love is so hard to find is why it gives us the butterflies.
Why have thousands of books, scripts and power ballads been written about love, not about food, water or oxygen? These things are more valuable to us, but they’re not as scarce as a perfect romance.
Anything worth doing is a little difficult. Finding love shouldn’t be as easy as finding a snack in the fridge. It's a thrill ride, not a pecan pie. The path to true love never did run smooth, so enjoy it for the rollercoaster it is.
Joe Elvin is a dating/relationships blogger based in London. His book 'The Thrill Of The Chase', which explains how to truly thrive in singledom, was published in 2017. Download the first chapter for free at eepurl.com/c-cmGP.