When I first signed up for online dating over a decade ago, I failed miserably. In fact, I practically made failing an art form.
The constant rejection and lack of acknowledgment led me to believe that something was personally wrong with me. I mean, literally no women would respond to me. Was I truly that awful?
Fast forward to the present, and I have had more success online than any man could dream of—I wasn't the problem. The way I was approaching online dating was.
While there are many mistakes I made over the years, today I'd like to cover 3 of the biggest mistakes that will destroy your online dating success, because they are all connected.
Not telling the right story with your photos
When I first started online dating, I posted a couple of photos just standing alone in my house. Ok, ok, I confess. It's worse than that. I had two pictures standing alone in front of the bathroom mirror.
In my defense, this was before the days of smartphones and the ability to take selfies. I know, I'm dating myself tremendously. But still, pretty sad!
Posting a couple of pictures by yourself, even if they look good, is the wrong approach if you want to have online dating success. Your photos are an opportunity to tell a visual story about who you are, along with visual stories about your passions, interests, friends, families, hobbies, and more.
You need to take advantage of this opportunity by presenting a visual slideshow that jumps off the page and makes others instantly take notice.
A great photo gallery will provide people with an in-depth view of who you are, where you've been, and where you are going in life.
Some pictures that tend to bring great success are:
- Animal photos
- Vacation pictures
- Adventure pictures
- Family pictures
- Photos with friends
- Humorous pictures
- Pictures that portray success in subtle ways (nobody likes a brag)
- Volunteering pictures
- Playing sports
- Outdoors activities
Poor profile writing
My original profile was filled with cliches and oozed with feelings of desperation. There was nothing unique, fun, or exciting about it at all. If I didn't give people a reason to get excited about my profile, why should anyone else be?
To stand out from the competition, I needed to understand that there was an art to profile writing. I needed to make my writing conversational, give it a personality, avoid cliches, use positive sounding language, provide it with the right structure, add plenty of humor, etc.
Once I took the time to create a profile that actually focused on accomplishing the feats mentioned above, as well as some other tactics, I had the groundwork laid out for online dating success. My visual story and written story combined for a perfect 1-2 punch that instantly had others intrigued.
Generic email writing
Having a perfect profile was a huge step. But it didn't get me to the finish line—this is because the highest quality singles online receive a lot of emails. To make them take notice, I couldn't just be generic with my writing.
Just saying hello, telling women that I thought we had a lot in common, and uninspired small talk about commonalities was not enough to bring me online dating success.
Neither were overly long emails or emails that tried to flatter women into liking me. I needed to be to write emails that ignited immediate interest.
So how did I accomplish that? The best way has, and always will be, by initiating with something humorous.
Now that I had a perfect profile, when I made women laugh with my emails, they responded. Just about every time. In fact, my response rate was well over seventy percent.
At the end of the day, humor is the universal language that makes everyone perk up and take notice. A playful comment, followed by an easy to answer the question will put you leaps and bounds above your competition towards getting noticed.
Joshua Pompey is an online dating expert and has been referred to as “the best online dater in the world” by the media. For more free online dating advice from Joshua Pompey for men, click here. Women, click here.