The Real Reason Ugly Guys Don’t Get Dates

Have you ever chickened out of approaching women because you didn't feel good-looking enough? Do you feel doomed to a mediocre dating life due to your physical flaws? Maybe you feel too short for sex with a supermodel or too ugly to get a gorgeous girlfriend.

Well, don't worry.

Your success with women is based on far more than your physical appearance. Being handsome might get you few more Tinder matches. It might affect a woman’s initial reaction on approach, but it’s far from the most important attribute for building attraction.  

Here are some traits that are far more attractive to women and if you cultivate these characteristics you’ll create an abundant dating life regardless of what you look like.

Be a boss, not a pretty boy

Imagine the sexiest supermodel you've seen. She wants a man who is charismatic, confident and fun. She wants a man who kicks ass in all areas of life. She wants a man completely at ease when speaking to her. She also wants a man who takes control of a conversation, who flirts and who moves things forward without making her feel uncomfortable or slutty. These skills are far more important than being good-looking, and they can all be learned with practice.

Sadly, many men don’t attempt to cultivate them because they believe that looks and money are all that matters.

Practice speaking to women

The simplest reason most men can't speak to stunning women?

They have not practiced.

You were probably useless the first time you took a free throw, had a job interview or jumped out of a plane. Well, chatting up women is exactly the same. The same way dribbling and slam-dunking can become simple, speaking to sexy women can, too.

Yet, most men barely practice because they don't think it would make any difference.

Take advice from the experts

There is so much fantastic FREE dating advice online—some of the world’s most successful lotharios have written exactly what to say to a woman, how to get her home and the mistakes that will make her lose attraction.

Most men still won’t read it—their egos won’t let them. They’re too embarrassed to admit they need advice. Or they tell themselves that the advice won’t work for them

Dating experts aren’t cut from a different cloth. They do what anyone else could do. They learn the technique, apply the principles and practice, practice, practice.

What’s stopping you doing the same?

Learn to be charismatic

Good-looking men tend to grow up believing they're great with women. They're told they're attractive from an early age, so it's easy for them to believe it. This typically makes them naturally charismatic. They're not intimidated by anyone, and they don't think twice about how to take women to bed. It’s this behavior that’s bringing them the women.

Being charismatic might not come naturally to you, but that’s no reason not to practice.

The bottom line? Stop blaming your looks

There are heaps of handsome men who haven’t got great dating lives – because they’re not bossing it in these other areas.   

Sure, they might score some simple layups that ugly guys don't get. After all, there's a small percentage of women who will sleep with a guy just because he's good-looking.

But overall, these lovely looking lads are losing out to men who have got the confidence, social skills and charisma craved by the cutest ladies.

So stop blaming your looks, and start speaking to loads of sexy women.

You'll be amazed at the improvements you make.

Author Profile

Joe Elvin is a dating/relationships blogger based in London. His book 'The Thrill Of The Chase', which explains how to truly thrive in singledom, was published in 2017. Download the first chapter for free at

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  1. Wicked article man.
    I feel the exact same way. Not having classic good looks doesn’t mean that you’re unable to spark attraction in the hearts of sexy girls. In fact, it means whatever you want it to mean. 99% of people fail to realize that we ASSIGN our own meaning to our situation. One person can think “I’m not good looking, I’ll never get a girlfriend….” and another person, who’s equally as ‘ugly’ can think “I’m not good looking…what a great opportunity to show a woman how fucking charming I am!! Thank god she won’t get distracted by something as meaningless and transitory as ‘classic good looks’….” haha!
    Things like looks and money will always play a small role when it comes to first impressions. But some of the most good looking, wealthiest men go home alone at night because they don’t have good social skills or good game. A friend of mine is a dating coach who has a few ‘celebrity’ clients. He told me those celebrities thought, “Man, I’m rich and famous now, girls are just gonna come to me and throw their legs open!” My friend went on to tell me that wasn’t the case, which is why these celebrities hired him.
    There’s so much hope out there for guys who don’t fit the ‘classic good looks’ mold. It’s just up to them to put their pride away and learn from those who know better. Then, like you said, practice practice practice.

  2. Personally i have never seen evidence that any other than looks appeals to women.I have seen women fuck men who were complete losers who couldn’t even feed themselves or their dog, but who were good looking.However they showed no interest in less attractive looking men that had houses paid off, owned 6 cars and played the piano!
    Believe me, nothing at all will spark interest from women once your looks fall below a threshold of about 5/10.You will get a few fatties showing interest but thats it.You could be the CEO of the worlds largest corporation, and women will avoid you at all costs if you are ugly.

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