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Asides

A Gchat About Punching Someone’s V-Card

yannibmbr on November 1, 2012
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As it is most nights, I work. My business partner and marketing master mind, Chris, will hit me up about projects we're working on through out the night to see where things are at and to bounce ideas off of me.

It's par for the course really. Tonight, he asked me a question that made me instantly think of a story I had been told when I was still a teenager… I don't know why; as I hadn't thought about the story in quite some time. As I recalled it in our gchat, I just let my fingers go… It's as though I'd remembered it like I'd just been told. I don't know quite why the story had made such an impression, but I can hazard a guess. At the time I'd heard the story, I was a dip shit of an asshole who giggled when he saw a woman's ‘coin slot.'
At that time I had no effing clue about women. Some would say I still don't. Regardless, my partner's question put me back in a courtyard at a community college listening to stories of fellow classmates getting their vcards “punched.” I had no such story to tell… So I listened intently. Anyway, I figured since the story meant something to me, I'd share it here in the form of our gchat. Forgive the shoddy formatting and editing, I've left it as is…
10:33 PM Chris: Let me ask you a question
  As a grown man who's been with several women
 me: ask away
 Chris: Is taking someone's virginity an option for you at this point?
 me: It is.
10:34 PM LEt me tell you a story that has nothing to do with me.
  There was an older woman I had an art class with. She was in her 50s at the time. I wasn't old enough to drink.
  We were talking about talking about our first time. I believe I still hadn't punched my vcard yet.
10:35 PM Anyway, not about me.
  Barb, was her name.
  She was tall, not the prettiest gal on the block, so she recalled.
  She hadn't had sex.
  She knew she wanted it. It was in her mind.
  She wanted to get fucked.
10:36 PM But no one would fuck her… Not that she wanted anyway.
  As high school graduation neared, her aunt approached her and asked her niece, Barb, what she wanted for a gift.
  Barb replied: “I want to get laid and get laid good.”
 Chris: Ha!
 me: Her aunt looked at her, with some obvious surprise, but she knew what was up.
10:37 PM What woman didn't wnat to feel good about herself and special?
  Graduation was nigh.
 Chris: grabs popcorn
 me: Barb had forgotten what she'd asked her aunt for.
10:38 PM At Barb's place, her aunt comes to her, pulls her aside and says in a low voice. Barb. Later tonight, Stephen is going to be home at 9pm… Barb was like “um, what are you talking about.” Her aunt persisted
  Barb, Stephen is your “gift.”
10:39 PM Barb's eyes went wide, as she looked off into the distance.
  He was in his early thirties.
 Chris: smiles
 me: Thoughts of him stirred something within Barb. You could tell he made an impact (no, not like that… or aybe like that)
  She remembered him well.
10:40 PM She took a deep breath, sipped her soda and looked at those of us intently listening as you are watching my text fly across gchat.
  Barb had a smirk on her face as she leaned in to tell us the rest. Barb knew stephen. He was a family friend.
  Helped out from time to time. She'd never thought of him in any other way than neighborly.
10:41 PM But the thought of being with him made her…
  Well, it made her moist, Chris.
  She went over to his place. He opened the door. He didn't say anything.
  As he started to form something that might have been a question, Barb leaned in aggressively and kissed him.
10:42 PM As she was telling us this story, her gaze was as though she was a trance.
  It was as if she was watching each and every steamy detail happen all over again.
10:43 PM She grabbed him, pulled him in and kissed the living fuck out of him. He was startled yet he let it happen; Barb having her way.
  When they got to the business of intercourse, things slowed down.
  He was gentle.
  Knowingly so. He understood, he knew how to touch her.
  She felt the pain, but it wasn't so bad she recalled.
  She recalled how gentle he was; how caring.
10:44 PM How safe and pretty she felt.
  Their bodies were interlocked, all parts touching finally to the point of her climax, not once.
  Not twice
  Not even three times.
  A fourgasm.
10:45 PM First time out. She didn't realize that four times was unusual for a first time, let alone any other time.
  No other man, even her husband made her climax in such a way.
10:46 PM The way stephen was with her remained imprinted in her mind. It's a thought she probably never shared with her husband.
  It's one of those things thatmakes women mysterious, Chris.
  There's always someone before.
10:47 PM Someone that touches a woman in a way that is near impossible to do. So much so it's burned deep within. Even in their darkest days, or their highest highs they think of you…
  Until they draw their last breath… Which is what I imagine was the case with Barb when she passed away.
  “You die two deaths.
  The physical
  And then when no one else utters or remembers your name.”
10:48 PM When you touch someone in such a way; one may never die.
  So, you ask me… Is a virgin out of the question for me… No, not it's not. Because it's an honor. It's truly sacred.
 Chris: And you say that I'm a good story teller.
10:49 PM I just came four times.
 me: You mind if I post this on Urban Dater.
 Chris: Not at all.

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Posted by yannibmbr

Alex is the founder, creative director and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs his own boutique marketing agency in Orange County, Ca: DigiSavvy. Among his treasured pursuits are bike rides with his girlfriend (don't be perverted, now!), hiking, watching the Portland Trailblazers and the LA Angels. Follow Alex: Twitter | LinkedIn

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