5 Reasons You May Not Be in a Relationship, Ya Jerk!

I'm going to start paring my lists down to two.  Two reasons you're not in a relationship. Nevermind.

Anyway, when talking to friends and thinking of my own experiences, there are a number of reasons why people aren't in relationships.  Here, I've decided to list out the “low hanging fruit.”  Here are some of the more common reasons why you're a turd and not in a relationship.

  1. YOU fail at relationships!  Okay, okay.  That is not number one. What kind of jerk would I be if it was?  Seriously, though, you may be the picky sort.  You comb over your dating prospects with a fine toothed comb, filtering out the many options available to you.  A buddy of mine is well known for wanting brilliance, model beauty and so on… Dude.  It’s not real, it’s an illusion; at least on your tax bracket.Try taking notice of the people around you that enjoy spending time with you.  You never know who could be a good fit for you.  Open yourself up and lower unrealistic expectations and cross some items off the ol’ requirements list.  Be more realistic and open yourself up to opportunity
  2. It’s possible that you may be trying too hard.  Ordinarily, I’d say “press the action” go after your men or women with reckless abandon… Sometimes, though, it’s better to let the action come to you. When a batter is struggling, he’s trying to hard and swinging at pitches that are out of the zone.  That can happen with us, too, if we try too hard.  We can come off awkward and desperate.  Just relax, be in the moment, have fun and the action WILL come to you.
  3. You look like a dork.  While you’ve managed to endear yourself to friends and family with your faded black jeans that now look grey, it’s probably safe to say that you need a wardrobe update.  Look outside of yourself for advice; let’s face it, if you look like a doofus, it’s a given that it’s YOUR fault.  Seek advice from friends.  Take note of any fashionista female friends and ask of their advice.
  4. Your opinion of dating is just negative; you’re a Debbie Downer.  I know, dating is not easy;  It gets easier with practice; it takes work.  Really, this item is its own article but remember that if you have a crap attitude, it follows you on your dates.  Really.  Be positive and be excited about what you have in your life.  That’s a good starting point and it’s generally something that people tend to notice about a person right away.
  5. You haven’t learned how to balance your life.  I’m a busy guy.  I have a full time job during the day and a pretty near full time job at night running a web design business.  On top of that I try to keep an active social schedule.  With all that going on it’s not easy to even find time for a relationship!  It’s true.  Yet I am in one.  I’ve tried to juggle my schedule to make time for it.  The truth is this: We are able to make time for the things we desire most.  If you really desire to go out and date, make time in your schedule for it.

Until next time, stop being a dweep and go on some dates already.

Author Profile

Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.

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  1. Ha! Nice use of the word turd! I like it. I actually really liked your article, and I am probably going to link to this from my blog in the near future. Thanks for the great post.

    1. And here I was thinking I was the only person with "turd" in their daily vernacular. How refreshing. Please feel free to reference content and link back to us!

  2. I think #4 is so spot on. I know SO many people that are so down about dating that I can't imagine why anyone would go out with them (particularly girls). "Oh he'll never go out with me, I'm not pretty enough, it will never work, dating is so difficult"… and/or they end up sounding incredibly desperate. Just go out! And have fun!

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