• About
  • Connect
  • Services
  • Advertise
  • Urban Dater on Twitter
  • Urban Dater on Facebook
  • Subscribe to the Urban Dater RSS Feed
  • Urban Dater on Instagram
Explore Close
Menu Close

Categories

Dating & RelationshipsOnline DatingTips & AdviceRelationshipsFor MenAsidesSelfSexFor WomenOpinionDates & DetailsFeaturedUncategorizedDate IdeasSpecialAdvertDating SitesQuestions and AnswersFashionNews

Tags

DatingRelationshipsOnline DatingSexloveadvicedating advicerelationshipdating tipssinglefirst datewomenrelationship adviceromancevalentines dayFor WomendatesFor Menmenobservations

Archives

January 2021 December 2020 November 2020 September 2020 August 2020 July 2020 June 2020 May 2020 April 2020 February 2020 January 2020 December 2019
  • Online Dating
    • Dating Apps
    • Dates & Details
    • For Women
    • For Men
  • Dating & Relationships
    • Fashion
    • Opinion
    • Self
    • Tips & Advice
  • Ask the Urban Dater
  • Sex
    • Adult Dating
    • BDSM
    • Better Sex
    • LGBTQ
    • Love
    • Sexting
  • Write for Us!
  • About
  • Connect
  • Services
  • Advertise
  • Urban Dater on Twitter
  • Urban Dater on Facebook
  • Subscribe to the Urban Dater RSS Feed
  • Urban Dater on Instagram

the Urban Dater

A Blog About Online Dating, Relationships & Sex

  • Online Dating
    • Dating Apps
    • Dates & Details
    • For Women
    • For Men
  • Dating & Relationships
    • Fashion
    • Opinion
    • Self
    • Tips & Advice
  • Ask the Urban Dater
  • Sex
    • Adult Dating
    • BDSM
    • Better Sex
    • LGBTQ
    • Love
    • Sexting
  • Write for Us!
Close
NextDressing for your date: The Jacket
  • Explore
  • Menu
  • Menu
AsidesSelf

A Tale of Fail, Feelings Unrequited and How Toilet Paper Helped Me Move On.

yannibmbr on February 18, 2011
Share This Article
Facebook1Tweet0Pin0
Oh how love can sucketh

Okay, the pic is over-kill, but it took a while to "forget."

I might as well have been a Ken Doll, manly enough in appearance (I guess Ken isn’t really “manly” but you know what I mean), but instead of having a penis there was a smooth area… Disturbing? Yeah, I’m a bit creeped out, too. At one point in my life I was painfully shy and really had a hard time striking up conversation with girls. My first job, when I moved to California, was customer service related. It was the job that changed my life, if you can believe it. However, there was a whole process of learning as time passed as I became a manager and eventually turned my back on that job to start a new chapter in my life.

I bring this up because once upon a time an old friend found me on the Myspace, it was someone I worked with at the music store. I was super excited to be back in touch with her; I’d sought her out from time to time over the years. After we reconnected, I dusted off my mental time capsule to remember my life ten years ago…

Inez and I were just friends, in my mind, though, I desperately wanted so much more. I didn’t know how to just come out and say it though. Instead I was a passive aggressive shit-head.

I would often not talk to her when I’d see her chatting up one of my male co-workers. I would ignore her, push her away and such. I really had no idea of what I was doing back then. I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings. More specifically, I didn’t know how to deal with feelings unrequited.

So many times I would be warm and cold with her; she must have thought I was a whack job. I certainly felt like one. For me, it got to the point that things were too much for me to deal with. Instead of dealing with it and telling her how I felt, I ran away… Much like King Arthur and his companions ran away from the vicious rabbit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. What did I do precisely? I transferred to a different store and didn’t tell her. She didn’t know until my last day. Needless to say she was upset with me.

To her credit Inez never led me on. We would hang out often, talk on the phone and see movies and all that stuff. At that time in my life, I didn’t know who I was or where I was going, I had no car; I was a piece of work with little to offer someone. Through it all she always said was a good friend I was. She never crossed any lines with me, even though I was desperately hoping for it… A month later I found out she had a boyfriend. I was further crushed.

What a sad story and somewhat pathetic, huh? So, was that the end of the story? Was there more to it? I did what any self respecting 18 year old would do! I, with a couple of friends, went over to her house and toilet papered the shit out of that place (no pun intended). We tied their filled-to-the-top trash cans to their garage door and tied chicken wire around the knobs on their front door to keep them shut. It was a good three hours of work to tee pee the place. In fact we did that job so nice, we did it twice!

Now that I’m half way to forty, I can take inventory and see how much I’ve grown and how much I’ve learned. Toilet Papering Inez's place was immature, but it sure felt good at the time. I think the most important thing for me was learning to love who I am and building self-confidence. I’m proud of that. I’m less proud of the epic toilet papery we exacted on Inez’s place; certainly her parents couldn’t have been very happy. However, I’d like to take this point and say to Inez: If you're reading this: “I’m sorry for being a shit head to you and I’m also sorry for the copious amounts of toilet paper I used to tee pee your parent’s place all those years ago.”

Signup for Our Newsletter

Get Us in Your Inbox!

Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox…
Follow @theurbandater



Share This Article
Facebook1Tweet0Pin0
  • Posted in: Asides, Self
  • Tagged in: passive aggressive

Posted by yannibmbr

Alex is the founder, creative director and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs his own boutique marketing agency in Orange County, Ca: DigiSavvy. Among his treasured pursuits are bike rides with his girlfriend (don't be perverted, now!), hiking, watching the Portland Trailblazers and the LA Angels. Follow Alex: Twitter | LinkedIn

All Posts
Show comments Hide comments

4 Comments

  1. Harriet Bond February 18, 2011 at 4:04 am

    It is amazing what love can make us do……!

    Reply

    1. Alex February 18, 2011 at 4:12 am

      Yep. Love is certainly an unrational child that can seldom be reasoned with. I'm just glad I hadn't entered the explosive sharting phase of my adult development. Yikes. =)

      Reply

  2. single much February 19, 2011 at 1:39 pm

    hahaha, I love the Monty Python reference. "he ran away, he ran away"

    Reply

    1. Alex February 23, 2011 at 8:24 am

      I DIDN'T RUN AWAY! "Oh yes he did!"

      Reply

Leave a reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Popular

  • 8 Things to Say to Your Ex Who You Still Love
  • A Girl doesn’t Text Back – Use These Texts Instead Of leaving Her Alone
  • What to Say to a Girl You Just Met
  • Men Who Give You Their Number Instead of Taking Yours. ~ Group Post.
  • 7 Tips on How to Give Your Partner Great Phone Sex
  • 3 Questions To Ask Yourself After 3 Months of Dating
  • Why Does He Want to be Friends if He Doesn’t Want to Date You?
  • How to Scratch Someone’s back
  • Seven Things You Should Be Looking For By The Fifth Date
  • Letters to Lovers Lost

Signup for Our Newsletter

Online Dating, Sex and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox...
Follow @theurbandater

Previous
Dressing for your date: The Jacket
February 16, 2011
Next
Geo Location Dating? Mojomapp makes it happen!
February 19, 2011

Let’s Socialize

  • Urban Dater on Twitter
  • Urban Dater on Facebook
  • Subscribe to the Urban Dater RSS Feed
  • Urban Dater on Instagram

General Bullshit

  • About
  • Disclosure Statement
  • Legal
  • Guest Posting
  • Terms and Conditions for Contributors

Archives by Month

© 2021 the Urban Dater by DigiSavvy, Inc. — Proudly Hosted on WP Engine —
  • Urban Dater on Twitter
  • Urban Dater on Facebook
  • Subscribe to the Urban Dater RSS Feed
  • Urban Dater on Instagram
Asides

A Tale of Fail, Feelings Unrequited and How Toilet Paper Helped Me Move On.

by yannibmbr time to read: 3 min
Asides Finer Thoughts and Sweeter Pills
Asides The Insomniacs Club
4