Yes, you read that title right. If you're a guy then you need to know and understand that you NEED female friends like the Hamburglar needed to burgle a burger every now and again. Don't you want to burgle something sometimes?
Guys, you need female friends that you don't have sex with. It's true! However, why is it true? My friends, let me tell you about it…I know the value of having female friends, the kind that really are friends. I've written before on how I believe that true friendship between men and women doesn't really exist. I maintain that opinion and believe it to be true. While a true platonic friendship may not be possible, in my opinion, being friends is. Through the years I've amassed a somewhat decent sized network of female friends, some of whom are my very best friends; aka women I haven't slept with… Actually, recall hearing a guy state that a female friend was simply a woman you haven't slept with… Interesting. I don't think the whole attraction thing ever really dies, I just
To better understand why I place such a high value on female friendship, we must briefly travel back in time, when I was a little Urban Dater, knee high to twenty stacked boxes of tampons. Back then my world consisted of my mother, my grandmother, my Aunt and my cousin; all females, with only my poor grandfather to balance it out… I learned to understand that just because something bled for seven days and didn't die didn't mean it was all evil. It just meant that I should do the following: Run. Fast! Listen. Compliment. When I was a child, I think I managed to do all of those things at the same time one of these women would have a melt down. I now understand why my grandfather would take working gigs up in Alaska, for the summers, but I digress.
Fast forward to present day; I had a solid foundation to work from where it concerned women… I always seemed to make friends with women easier than guys; a fact that made me want to club baby seals.
However, I learned that women who were “just friends” were the most valuable weapon in my arsenal when it came to dating for a number of reasons, some of which I'll list:
- Your platonic female friend will tell you, straight up what they think of the women you're interested in. Women know feelings and know emotions, they tend to be better at empathizing. These things really help when you want to get to the bottom of how your lady things. Generally speaking, if there's a girl I'm really into, I make damn sure she's met ALL of my female friends. I need to know what they think, I value their opinions. The wall of estrogen has not yet failed me.
- If the girl you're into is on the insecure side, there are a couple of options. If you're a bit of a jerk, or a lot of a jerk, then you can exploit this by talking up your female friends all the time and see how your beau responds. However, if you're like me, you don't like insecure women. There's nothing wrong with a woman having many male friends, conversely there's nothing wrong with a guy having many female friends, in my opinion… If my love interest is relationship material, she's has to be able to handle this fact; that I have female friends.
- Your female friends will open your eyes in many ways, perhaps to things you hadn't really thought about or taken notice of before. It could be the arts, find food and drink, great film, books. The list goes on. Guys, I'm not saying that you need surrender the things that make you a man. No. A woman won't respect that. However, understanding where a woman is coming from is key; knowing how to relate, how to engage in a variety of ways is key.
- One of the single most important reasons to have platonic female friends is to see HOW THEY deal with relationship issues. If your female friends are in a relationship, they're going to come to you, confide in you and ask of your advice and opinion. This is a very good thing. Sure, you're being there for a valued friend. Don't miss it for the opportunity it provides. The opportunity is to see how women deal with a situation; you're able to see how they feel; how they think and how they cope. Take note of the questions, understand the needs that are expressed.
Sure, there are those that would say “Can't you do this with women that you have sex with?” I suppose you could, I've tried it, but it's just not the same. Sex, unless it's with an FB, just complicates things too much, women don't need that sort of drama in their lives, as much as we men are happy to “be there.” Your platonic female friends not only can teach you something about women and how they think, how they are when vulnerable, but they can be a true barometer for your relationships with other women.
Until next time, guys, stop fondling your female friends. Pervert.