Welcome to another addition of “Ask the Urban Dater.” Today's question comes from Opal:
How do I know if my man really loves me?
Wow. This is the the one I probably see the most in my inbox. It's not an easy question to answer, by any stretch of the imagination. If he's not kicking your cats, throwing kids into the sun, pinches you on the butt… He might still love you. Effort is the barometric reading here.
As much as I'd like to say there's a single “sure fire” way to know if your man loves you, I simply can't.
However, I would tell you this: If you have to question whether or not he loves you that's a strong indicator in and of itself. He's obviously not doing a good job of making you feel loved.
You need to communicate that with him.
Now, how do you know if your man loves you? It's tough to discern. However, there's a general rule of thumb that rarely fails, you just have to be able to read the signs. What I mean is disregard what your man says and pay the most attention to his actions.
Words don't always tell the truth, yet actions do. Take note of what your man does. Do his actions align with your relationship? Does he do things that bring you together, or push you apart? Does he make time for you or for himself and the things HE likes to do? Does he make an effort to be there for you, to help you? Do you find yourself wondering why he isn't more supportive? Effort is key.
I hope this is helpful to you.
Best of luck, dear.