A stereotypical male probably loves his family, his room-mates and his local football team all in different ways.
Yet, when it comes to loving a significant other, there are two main types – and the one you should aim for is far less romantic.
Falling in love
Let’s first discuss the romanticized ideology described as ‘falling in love’.
Essentially, it's a romantic obsession with a member of the opposite sex. She's seen as this perfect princess who's forever in your thoughts. She gives you this serene light-headed, goofy feeling. She's your everything and you’ll do anything to keep hold of her.
It’s lovely in theory. But, honestly…there are only certain types of guys who ‘fall’ for girls in this way – those who don’t have much else going for them.
When you don’t have a lot going on in your life, it’s actually quite easy to fall in love. You’ll probably fall for most pretty girls who show a bit of interest.
If you don’t have lots of friends, a promising job, or hobbies to make you really happy, you’ll become so hooked on the happiness she brings, because you’ve experienced nothing else even close to the emotional high of a hot girl’s attention.
Often, she doesn't even have to be hot. When we ‘fall' in love with someone, our brains inflate their better features and block out their flaws, because we're so desperate to continue receiving their affection.
It's called co-dependency. This isn't necessarily unhealthy, but there's a tendency to end up with women who are completely wrong for you.
After all, high-quality women rarely remain in relationships with men who melt at their feet. They aren’t into that. It’s just not what the masculine men they’re after tend to do.
There’s typically only one standard of woman who is attracted to this behavior – and she also has bad self-esteem. It’s hardly healthy to have to handle her weaknesses as well as your own. The cracks in these co-dependent pairings appear pretty quickly.
Jump in love
For the high-class man who already feels great about himself, it’s a lot harder to ‘fall’ for a woman. love. The high-class man jumps in love instead.
He already has great hobbies and great friends, so he’s not desperate for attention from women. He isn’t felled by female affection because he already has an abundance of it. He’s not blown head over heels by her beauty nor hypnotized by her behavior.
He’s seen it all before. He'll see it all again. He's already got so much to make him feel great that he can take or leave her love.
This high-quality male will naturally attract women with this attitude, but may still choose to stay away from relationships. He doesn't feel rushed to fall in love. He's happy to wait. It's a naturally masculine trait.
That’s not to say he’s incapable of loving the right lady. He'll give plenty of them a slice of his rollercoaster lifestyle. He's just less likely to settle for second-best.
Then, when he meets a lady that makes his life even better, he'll make an unclouded choice to invest in her. It's a CHOICE rather than an overwhelming urge.
It sounds unromantic, but it's also really unselfish. He doesn't need her to be happy. She isn't this perfect Disney princess that will complete him.
Yet, because he's been with enough women before committing, he can clearly see which one has the strengths for a sensational relationship.
It's a logical choice, not an emotional one. That's what happens when you hold yourself from falling in love with the first woman who will have you. This patient approach has the best probability of creating a perfect partnership.
Learn to love yourself
How can you learn to jump in love instead of falling in love? The key is to love yourself before you love another.
Find a purpose in life that runs deeper than finding a fun girlfriend. Enjoy new experiences. Treasure friendships. Aim to change the world.
Become the type of guy that doesn't have time for a girlfriend, because there's too much other great stuff going on. Suddenly, only the most breathtaking girls will be worth spending time with.
It's this non-neediness that wonderful women find irresistible when you take the time to meet them.
It's almost funny how they'll waltz into your life whenever you don't need them.
He who is happy with or without a relationship won't fall in love too often. Yet, he'll almost always have love around him – and the option to seize it whenever he sees fit.
The option to jump in love whenever you're ready. That's the mark of a high-quality man.
Joe Elvin is a dating/relationships blogger based in London. His book 'The Thrill Of The Chase', which explains how to truly thrive in singledom, was published in 2017. Download the first chapter for free at eepurl.com/c-cmGP.