Empathy Is Sexy: Why The Empathetic Male Will Always Get The Woman
Have you ever wondered how easy it must be for a beautiful woman to find a boyfriend?
To meet a great guy, surely all she needs to do is get dressed, go to a social venue, see the queue of potential suitors assemble and then select the most attractive man.
It must be like playing the dating game on beginner mode.
Not necessarily.
While a beautiful woman will always have an abundance of potential partners to pick from, she'll probably suffer from major stress and anxiety when meeting them.
And if she doesn't meet a man who understands this, it's far easier for her to go home alone.
Even if you're the most attractive man she's ever met, you'll need to ease this anxiety, or you'll end up empty-handed.
Getting hit on is terrifying
Most men will be able to understand the anxiety that comes with approaching a gorgeous woman.
However, many don't realize the approach is usually more anxiety-inducing for women than it is for men.
As devastating as rejection can be for a man's confidence, it's little compared to a woman's fear of being courted by a creep.
Hot chicks get hit on a lot, and it's normally by men who have no idea what they're doing. They've dealt with every category of creepy guy: the painfully awkward shy guy, the unnecessarily sexual guy, the sweaty drunk guy and, we can't forget, the dude who thinks it's okay to dry hump a woman before introducing himself.
No wonder these babes are braced for danger even when the attractive man turns up. Men should empathize with women rather than feel rejected when they get defensive.
Don't be offended if she fobs you off before you open your mouth. Understand she might have already had six or seven douchebags stammer over to seduce her.
Smile, stick around and concentrate on showing her a great time. Give her time to realize you're a good guy. If she's still not having it after a short while, then that's her loss.
It's even worse when the man is attractive
It may sometimes take four or five minutes for her to become comfortable speaking with a stranger, so be patient.
She should start to open up — and even show signs of attraction — after this amount of time. Yet, there is a new type of anxiety that might arise once she realizes you actually know how to hit on women.
Now, she may be scared because she doesn't want to mess it up.
For all the guys who want to get with her, there aren't that many who can chat confidently and make her this comfortable, so don't be surprised if she suddenly becomes shy and self-conscious.
There's probably a billion thoughts running through her mind. She's worried about her appearance, what to do and what to say. She's wondering what it takes to win you over.
Once again, empathy is an excellent quality to have here. Compliment her. Mess around, take it easy, and make jokes. Don't judge her if she doesn't have much to say. This will help her feel far more comfortable around you.
She is worried about her perception
By the end of the evening, you've probably passed her tests to check you're the real deal. You've shared some drinks, flirted and impressed her friends.
She's probably ready to get a bit more physical, but this is typically when things become even more stressful.
Her hormones are begging her to give it up, but her head tells her not to keep it platonic. This internal debate is enough to make her insane. Does she listen to her inner femininity or the slut-shaming society that surrounds her? Both sides of the argument are screaming inside her conscience.
If it looks like she's ready for steamier romance, be prepared for it to be your fault. It has to be you that tries for the kiss, you that drags her away from her friends and you that finds an excuse to go to your room.
Women want to get physical just as much as men, but with a man they've just met, they're looking for guilt-free physicality. You need to find a way to make it look like she wasn't to blame.
Always be empathetic
Sometimes, it's tough being as attractive as a supermodel.
It might look like beautiful women live in their own perfect little princess worlds, but they have their own worries. They want a man who can help them overcome these anxieties.
The man who knows how to emphasize and soothe these stresses will be way more successful in his attempts to get the gorgeous woman.
Joe Elvin is a dating/relationships blogger based in London. His book 'The Thrill Of The Chase', which explains how to truly thrive in singledom, was published in 2017. Download the first chapter for free at eepurl.com/c-cmGP.
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