It's the silent assassin. The ninja that kills your chances with women without you even noticing.
The main reason that women aren't into you, even though you’re well-dressed, well-groomed, funny, flirtatious and actually making the effort to approach them.
Bad body language.
You could be the most charming, witty and interesting man, but it won’t count for squat if your body language gives off bad signals.
Most men aren't aware of these subtle mannerisms, but women are socially savvy enough to spot them.
They tell her if you're a true boss or a big faker – and the fakes won't be taking up too much more of her time.
So, here are five tips for adopting the body language of an alpha male.
1. Eye contact
Nothing communicates honesty better than holding solid eye contact. It's such a simple method for building sexual tension too. Watch what happens when you stop speaking and just stare effortlessly at her eyes. Usually, she’ll turn to jelly.
Keep eye contact every time you compliment her – and she’ll soon be able to see you believe in yourself.
Some women will still throw little tests at you to check you're truly confident, though.
“You're too short. I don't speak to strangers. We're having a girls night,” etc.
Gaze at her pupils, pass that test and you'll be one step closer to seducing her.
2. Square up
Stand face-to-face with her.
This communicates you're confident about starting a conversation and expecting her to contribute.
Standing side-on looks less assured. Speaking to her back makes you look pathetic. Both of these suggest you expect to be shot down.
3. Lean back
Leaning back is a relaxed stance.
Studies show it not only helps you appear calm, but you'll actually feel calmer.
So search for the nearest wall, bar, stool etc.
If you're leant on a wall and she's squared up to you, that's the blackjack of body language.
4. Show your hands
Have your hands on show and use them to emphasise what you're saying. It's another sign you can be trusted.
Be expressive. The more space they take up, the better. Putting them in your pockets makes you appear uncomfortable.
Most blokes don't touch women enough to move things forward.
Calibration is key. Start with small touches to the arm. If she responds well, take it up a step to stroking, hand-holding, hugs, kisses and so forth.
If you escalate too quickly, apologise, keep talking, then try something else later.
It’s better to take things too far and apologise than to not touch her. Unless you're after a one-way ticket to the friendzone.
Physicality is an easy indicator of where you're at with a woman. Use it to find the right time to ask for her number/take her home etc.
There's no need to force it though. Some women take longer to warm up to being touched than others. Assume she likes you, keep talking and take your time.
You may need to actively practice these steps before they become natural, but with all of them in your arsenal, you'll be in much better shape to kill it with women.
For more tips on how to be confident with women, download my free How To Be Fearless PDF.
Photo Cred: Alexis Brown
Joe Elvin is a dating/relationships blogger based in London. His book 'The Thrill Of The Chase', which explains how to truly thrive in singledom, was published in 2017. Download the first chapter for free at eepurl.com/c-cmGP.