Dating a special someone new can make you feel like you're in a lucid dream. You feel desired, you can't stop smiling, and you can't control your subtle smugness when you tell your friends that you're hitched.
When you’re at the start of a new road, infatuation makes you want to fly high in the sky and spread the love over a network like Facebook. You think that the sensation would only grow every month or even every fortnight, where the more you talk and the more you spend time with each other, the more your seed will grow and will turn into a blossom of love.
However, as much as you don’t want to think about the topic, some things in life do expire. There may be a point where you will have to start asking yourself a couple of questions, especially if you're starting to imagine yourself with your other half in a home with wedding pictures on the walls.
Alternatively, you may find yourself stuck. You’re still having a fantastic time with your other half, but nothing much has changed within the last 8-12 weeks of seeing each other. Another possible thing that could happen is that your feelings for your other half are starting to burn themselves out, or slowly losing its flame until it completely goes out.
These are awful thoughts to have inside your head, but the reality is they occur every day, and you can’t control them, no matter how much you try. Every relationship would have a different ‘best before end’ date, but the average time that you should start thinking seriously about the relationship is three months.
So, if you’re wondering if there is an end to the road or not, these are the three most important questions that you will have to ask yourself.
Question 1: What are you doing with your partner and yourself?
Firstly, you need to answer these points alone. Even if you consult with your most well-balanced friends on the face of the earth, you’re going to get a biased opinion at the end of the conversation.
They would only want you to be happy. Therefore, they would give you an answer that you’d probably don’t want to hear. Once you sit down at your desk with a hot cup of tea, you have to ask yourself:
- What are you doing with your partner and yourself?
- Are you eating out a lot?
- Do you go to the cinema often with each other?
- Are you having a lot of surprise trips out-of-town together?
- Are you having sex most of the time with each other?
- Do you ‘Netflix and Chill' together when you finish work?
- Do you have a lot of coffee dates just outside of your home?
- Is most of your time with your partner sober?
They may seem trivial to you at first, but they will have a great significance when you start to think about the other two questions later on. Furthermore, you also have to ask what you are doing when you're on your own.
- Are you still doing your favorite hobbies when you’re other half is away?
- Are you still seeing your friends as much as you were when you were single?
- Do you think a lot about your partner when you are alone?
Again, this is an important part of processing your real feelings if you want to find out what you should do next.
Question 2: How do you feel about you and your partner?
Once you know what your current lifestyle is like, the next step is to question your feelings for your partner.
- What are the aspects that you like about your partner?
- What are the aspects that you don’t like about your partner?
- What are the sensations that you feel when you’re around your other half?
- What are the sensations that you feel when you’re not around your other half?
- Do you think that things are moving in the right direction; going up and forward?
- Do you think that things are slowing down a little bit; reaching a point where you’re starting to land on your feet, and you’re not flying anymore?
To avoid over-thinking about the connection and getting into a mild anxiety attack, you just need to establish what ground you're standing on, as well as the ground that your partner is on too. This is another door that you'll need unlock because it will help you answer the final question that will either make or break your relationship.
Question 3: Where do you see you and your relationship going in the next three months?
Of course, there is the old saying of ‘if you think about the past too much, you’re depressed, but if you think about the future too much, you’re too worried.’ But the sad fact is that you are going to have to worry about the future sooner or later.
Considering what things will be like within the next few months will establish what it is that you want, what it is that you need, and what it is that will be best for you in the long run.
If there is one thing you should know, it's that relationships and romance aren’t meant to be stepping-stones. They're little slots in our life that would either work or won't. These two things come and go all the time, and the only thing that varies is the duration of them.
Even if you feel like you want to spend a big part of your life with your partner, it's important that you have a discussion with him or her about the romance and relationship.
Another reason to have this conversation is that you may not know if your companion is on the same page with you. Your partner is on a higher level, but you're not on the same wavelength as he or she is, perhaps.
Whether it would be easy for you to answer or not, these are the three important questions that you have to ask yourself when you've been dating for 1 season of the year. If you're not in love with your other half, the most loving thing to do for him or her is to stop the relationship when your partner's feelings are growing. It's better for you to do that now and not wait when his or her love for you is at its peak.
However, if you do feel like your head is above the clouds, but you're not too sure if your partner's head is too, you have to tell him or her where you are right now. Lack of communication is one of the underlining causes of failing romances and relationships; it's crucial to have these kinds of talks even when you're in a real space with your partner.
You're not in school; hiding in a corner on the playground while staring at your crush isn't cool anymore. You may not be in control of sensations like love, but you are in control of making decisions that can alter your love life in the way that you want it to be.