When is it Time to Stop Dating Around and Get Serious?

I was having lunch the other day with a couple of friends, Phil and Janet, who are married and we got to the topic of me and my dating life.  I swear, I feel like such an attention whore and narcissist sometimes.  No, I don't always talk about myself and, yes, I am my favorite topic.  Anyway, the point is that we were talking about my dating life and how I'm seeing a couple women at the moment.  They paused to take a break from their bites of food, looked at each other and then looked at me… Uh oh.Phil asked, in his Russel Brand-like Brit accent, “Alex, have, you know, given thought to being serious with these women.  Y'know, at least one of em seems to like you enough, beyond all odds she does.”  I had just told Phil and Janet about a gal I'm seeing and how she'd taken me to a family Christmas party.  I basically stated that I felt that this girl was developing some strong feelings.  Sensing hope for my budding maturity and the possibility of finally retiring my wretched “belt of notches” Phil and Janet jumped into a list of reasons why I should date someone seriously, mid bite.

First, it was Janet; she was gushing over how her and Phil shared so many moments together, the kind of moments that casual daters just don't share.  Things like trips to other countries, or, heck, just taking a long road trip somewhere.  Phil went on to say, of course, that there's more to relationships than “snogging and getting ‘it' wet.”  Just as an aside here, my friends thing that I'm a “date em' and dump them” kind of guy.  I'm really not, I'm a nice guy and respectful.  I've had relationships that were serious and I've been in long term relationships before.  I'm just not one of those people that saddles up with a girl for five years or so if I don't see marriage in the future.  That's a long time to spend with someone that you are not getting married to.  That's just my opinion.  Anyway, I don't do much to dissolve the perception that I'm just some womanizing tool bag.  It's kind of fun to see the expressions on friends' faces when I “play it up.”

Anyway, the talk got me to thinking; when is the right time to settle things down and have something more meaningful?  I don't know that there's a right answer.  I certainly wouldn't force it.  The fact is that I'm having fun doing what I'm doing and I'm being responsible with my feelings and those of the women I see and date.  However, yes, I do want to have some stories and some shared experiences with a lady friend that is more than a casual fling.  Dammit!  I want it all, alas, it cannot be.

I suppose when a person gets to the point that they are tired of what they've been doing then that person ought to realize it for the opportunity that it is.  To make change.  When I get to that point where what I'm doing is no longer good enough then, yeah, I should change something.  Until that happens though, I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing and have fun while I still have a full head of hear and remain a non turd-like looking individual…

Author Profile

Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.

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One Comment

  1. Hi. Great blog. I just started my first blog today. I will be back to your page for sure. My blog is about bad dating stories. We all have them. I’ve got so many that I could write for an eternity. If you have any bad dating experiences, feel free to email and I will add them to my blog with your permission.

    Have a great day.


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