Like rent, healthcare and cooking, there are many things in life that you have to start managing when you turn 25, like admitting the fact that there is no algorithm for dating.
You may have friends that already have a mortgage down on their semi-detached house with a partner of 4 years, or get people on Tinder asking them for meet-ups every 20 minutes. Yes, it can be a lonely place for a person that isn't on the dating scene or is sick and tired of people throwing a new ball game at them. If you tell your best friend that you're ‘dating' someone right now, you're saying that your sex life is relevant once again, and you've started to grow feelings for that person. If you tell your friend that you're not dating anyone, he or she will think that you're not getting any sex.
However, that is a big misconception a lot of people fall for, especially when there are different ways to have sex without having to go on a dinner date beforehand. Whether you'd treat yourself with sex toys, masturbation or the odd one night stand without seeing anybody, what would happen to your initial view on dating? Let's start off with an aspect that you'd appreciate.
You wake a little bit brighter every morning
If you're like me, and you enjoy having a bit of ‘me-time' before you go to sleep, the desire to have a hottie by your side in the morning won't be as strong as it normally would be. I may be a bit of a day-dreamer, and I like to get lost in my thoughts, but there are times when I think that a good wank is better than a satisfactory shag.
You do get the trivial benefits of keeping sex in your bed but not your date. For example, you don't have to share the duvet, you don't have to experience morning breath, and you don't get woken up by the sound of your partner snoring right beside your ear.
However, the greater benefit of spending time on yourself (or sex toys) is that you're taking the time to indulge in what you want to think about, and how you want to pleasure yourself without feeling anxious in front of someone.
More people in the world have strange fixations than you think or have fantasies that may seem too wild and weird for mainstream people to know. Of course, you do touch yourself to a generic sex scene from your favorite drama on HBO. Nevertheless, there are days (or nights) when you want to completely revel in a reverie that will make you shoot fountains.
I know that was just a fancy way of saying 'embrace your fetishes', but it's true. You can't lie to me about that. Don't even try. Once you start doing this for a week or a month, and desire gets weaker and weaker, you begin to realize something…
You only wanted orgasms, not relationships
I know, the thought of it sounds passionless and cold, but it represents a lot of people's truths.
No empathetic person would go out with someone just to get some action. That said, you cannot help but reap the benefits from the relationship.
Too many times I've seen my single friends bedding their partners the moment they started going out with the, and only hearing about how great the sex was with them. But over time, those friends of mine start to learn about their new-found partners and end up losing the flair they had for them before.
Hence, their sex sessions go from great to good, from good to satisfactory, and from satisfying to pure shit. I'm sure many of you reading has experienced this before.
In my opinion, sex and love are different, but they can be interchangeable, which is why you probably feel like your orgasms are diminishing if your relationship is going downhill.
I'm not saying that masturbation alone can save you from the perils of dating. Nevertheless, you shouldn't exclude the idea of indulging in a one night stand whenever the moment arises.
I don't have a lot of one night stands because the feeling of fucking the first hot guy I see hardly comes around, even when I'd be drunk. But my last one was solely focused on giving my libido what it wanted, and then go on my merry way with whatever I was currently doing, which gave me one more epiphany…
You're not as desperate as you were before
If you're someone who had a fantastic time with a stranger and want to repeat a private session with him or her again, you will go through the process of exchanging numbers and texting each other until you arrange another get-together with that person.
After repeating this process, there will be, at least, one person that will develop feelings for the other. And depending on what level that another person is on, the dating can either improve or end awkwardly.
If you focus on yourself, sexually and personally, there's a good chance that your character will become more selective in choosing what style of clothes you want to wear, what kind of things you want to do on the weekend, and what kind of person would be worth your time and energy.
Although other contributing factors can make you want to go into courtship or not, very few people realize that sex plays a big role in dating. It's one of the critical components to a relationship alongside dating, as it's what helps build the intimacy between two people.
Then again, sex is a primal need that everyone needs, no matter how much or how little you crave it; dating is a choice. Many men and women who've just turned single would either go on many rebounds or wallow in pity for a couple of weeks.
There are pros and cons when you choose between the two courses of action. If you seek out numerous hookups, your sex sessions will become a task to complete, not a hobby to enjoy. If you wallow in pity for a couple of weeks, your sex session will go M.I.A., and you'll forget what it's like to feel pleasure in your crotch.
But what if you just want to keep sex in your life? Well, that is possible. And depending on what your outcomes may be, you might find yourself not giving a shit about dating anymore.