Escaping a Bad Date

Online dating is very similar to a blind date. No matter if you have emailed and talked over the phone, there is no match for meeting someone in person. People can misrepresent themselves through email and even over the phone. Online pictures may be outdated. You just never know who you will meet when going out on a first date with someone you met online. In some instances you will hope the date ends early. This article is dedicated to those times when you want to escape a bad date.There are a number of passive aggressive tactics. You can fake an “emergency phone call” by asking a friend to call you or signing up/downloading an automated calling service. A second option is to spill a drink or food in your lap or on your shirt and then claim you have to go home to clean your clothes.

Another passive aggressive approach is to try to get your date to leave by making inappropriate or rude comments. You can present yourself as high maintenance, self-centered or create an annoying personal habit or bodily tick. I don’t recommend this tactic because, again, you never know when you may run into this person again. Of course you can get up and leave without notice, but it’s really not the mature thing to do. Think of how you would feel if someone did this to you and left you sitting at a table alone waiting for however long wondering what happened to your date. Besides, you never know when you will run into this person again. If your date makes you feel awkward, uncomfortable or unsafe you should leave immediately. Listen to your instincts and always meet somewhere public. Be sure to tell your friends where you are going and who you are going with.

One of the easiest ways to cut a date short is to excuse yourself during “intermissions”. For example, if you are planning a hike followed by lunch, end the date in between. There is no reason to continue on to lunch if there is no chemistry and you want to be somewhere else. You can take the honesty approach or simply say you are tired. The best approach is to be honest and kind. This takes courage but is the most respectful way to handle the situation. You might be surprised to find out your date wasn’t feeling the chemistry either and is relieved you took action.

Yes, there will be times when your date is into you when you aren’t and vice versa. In this case, there are a couple of things you can do. If your date isn’t creepy and you are having a decent time you can stick it out and see if there is any friend potential. There may be but you also might run into a situation where your date really likes you and misreads your actions as attraction or romantic interest. You can always thank your date for his/her time and say you aren’t feeling the chemistry or don’t see a future here. This is a perfect way to avoid the “It’s me not you” cliché and most people will get the underlying “thanks, but no thanks” message. No matter what you say or do to end the date, be polite. There is no need to berate the other person. Instead, thank them for their time. Both of you put yourself out there and took a risk on spending time with someone new. There is no need to cause someone to cry or seek psychological counseling.

The best bit of advice is the keep your first meeting or date short and sweet. Meet for coffee instead of jumping into a long dinner. If you do plan a longer evening consider switching up the order. Instead of dinner and a movie, watch the movie first so you definitely have something you can talk about over dinner – the movie you just saw together.

Don’t get depressed over a bad date. They happen and there will be more. This is an adventure to discover a person who makes you feel happy and that extra “special something”.

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  1. Actually, this reminds me of a discussion I had with Laurie, the eFlirt Expert (eFlirt Website) last night. Her comment, which I hope I'm quoting correctly, basically stated that a first meeting after talking with someone from an online dating site isn't really a first date. It's a first meeting where you can determine if there's any chemistry, but it's almost a "pre-date." That said, we both agreed that every first meeting should be something short, so you don't have to "escape." (from this point on, all opinions are my own) Agreeing to dinner, a movie, theater, etc., on this pre-meeting is tantamount to suicide. You're just asking for trouble. Leave something for a second meeting. If you two are really that into one another, that's great. Call her the next day and schedule a proper date.

    As for actually escaping a date, have some class and remember that dating karma can be a bitch. Don't ditch someone, even if you don't really care, you never know who they might know.

    Best of luck to everyone out there.

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