Dates, Dives and a Whole Bunch of Gay People.

I was recently reminded of a date that I'd been on during a discussion about lazy stalkers and gay clubs. I know, it sounds like an odd conversation and certainly that is my default setting.  So, yeah, I've been on some weird dates.I was on a date with this girl, I'd met online.  She was nice and sweet, yet I wasn't getting the spark.  That is, while we were talking and having a good time there just seemed to be no spark between us.  So we ate dinner, had a drink and left the restaurant.  My date suggested that we grab a drink at this one place that she'd heard about.  It was a bit of a dive, but I'd been there before and I always had a good time there, so I agreed.

So we get to the bar and it's pretty dead, there's one person drinking at the bar and I'm guessing they worked there or something like that.  So I bought our round of drinks and we sat on a couch that appeared to be a prop from many a snuff and/or children's daytime television show.  Anyway, my date and I continued talking and drinking and, at this point, the alcohol has changed the complexion of our date, slightly.  Chemistry was forming where there was none before.  Isn't that always how things work out?

My date excuses herself to the ladies room.  I'm drinking my Hendricks and look around the place.  I think to myself, “Wow, the owner really spruced the place up,” noting the many changes to this once divy bar, which was bordering on the hip and chique.  I stare at a wall that has a movie being projected on to it.  The movie, to be clean about it, was of two dudes getting it on. Yes, people it was some gay porn on the walls.  My date comes out and sees my marvelled look and says, “I'd be in awe of a penis that big, too!” We both had a good laugh about it all, as I noticed a bouncer set up and weight down a couple of stripper polls and some mood lighting.  I thought that things would take a turn for the interesting, at that point and they did.

More people started filtering in and there were a lott of guys, little dudes… a lot of them.  Just to confirm, my date asks a waitress if there was anything special going on and the waitress said “Gay Night.”  I mean, yeah, it was pretty obvious by this point, if the porn on the walls wasn't enough of an indicator.

We stick around for a bit and people watch as we have our drinks.  There were some “top” personalities dancing 'round the floor, so it was very entertaining.  I go to take care of the tab, at the bar when these two guys offer to buy me a shot, they insisted, so I took it.  They looked like average ordinary fellows and such, and as I waited for my tab (it had gotten quite busy) we had a nice conversation.  I noticed that these guys were very interested in what I had to say and made feel very smart by laughing at my jokes. They were also interesting to talk to.  I think they were employing some tricks from that show ‘The Mentalist' because I felt like the most interesting guy in the room. That's when it hit me.  THIS IS WHAT I DO, WHEN I'M OUT IN THE BARS AND TRYING TO DO A “PICK UP!”  Oh these guys were good, if I'd had a “Peppermint Pattie” rather than a “Twinkie” these guys might have been on to something.  I paid up my tab and went on my way.  Them gay fellows know how to make a boy feel special.

In all it was an odd date, still, though, no sparks to be had.  The experience just serves to be an example: You never know what you're gonna get.  Forrest, you're such a wise ass.