Coffee Shops Are Better Places to Find Women Than Bars.
I hang out at coffee shops all the time. When you blog for a living working at home gets boring, and lonely; and the worst thing for a serial dater is loneliness.
The time I have spent at coffee shops has given me more than a place to work, however. Coffee shops are prime places to meet single men who stop in during their lunch break for a little pick me up (that doesn't involve alcohol). Plus you know they have a job!
Here's 8 steps to take if you're the guy trying to talk to that cute bohemian chick sipping her chai tea latte at the corner table in Starbucks.
(photo by strawberry-ice-cream)
Step 1: Sit in close proximity to her. Obviously, if you're nowhere near her she's not going to notice you. Pick a place that is near her to give her a subtle hint that you're interested.
Step 2: Make eye contact. This is where she either smiles, or looks away and pretends to work. But you've planted the seed. If she looks up and makes eye contact with you again you move in for the kill.
Step 3: Ask her what she's working on. Reading, knitting or make a comment about whatever she's doing. Everyone likes to talk about themselves and you're giving her the opportunity to do so. TIP: Whatever you do, DO NOT tell her she has pretty eyes! The only guys who ever say that are the ones who have nothing better jingling around in their brain, don't let that guy be you.
Step 4: Let the conversation die. Make sure you have a newspaper to feign interest over. Give yourself five minutes to read about what's going on in Afghanistan before browsing for an interesting and unique topic that will impress your target. Don't wait too long or you risk her leaving before you have the chance to reel her in.
Step 5: Talk to the her again. Discuss whatever interesting tidbit of news you've just read about. Unless she's completely unaware, she now knows you're interested, which is a good thing. Pay attention to her body language. Is she smiling? Or is she politely waiting for a break in the conversation so she can return to her work? If she's smiling and asking questions you're golden. If she's being rude or dismissive just leave, you can always try again later with a girl who's available.
6. Leave. Tell her you're going back to work but you'd love to meet up with her again. Ask for her number and tell her you'll call her. By reiterating that you will call, you're leaving her with confidence that will make her feel good and more apt to actually go on a date with you when you do.
7. Wait three days before you call. It's called the game, and you need to play it. Give her some time to wonder whether or not you're actually going to call. If you're new to picking up women you'll probably need the time to let your excitement cool down anyway. There's nothing less attractive than an over-eager suitor.
8. Call her. Keep it brief. Ask her how she's doing, make a joke and set up the date. Movies are always a good first date, or lunch. And make sure you pay for the first date. Yes we're in the year twenty-ten, however, the fact of the matter is that you probably want to get laid more than she does, so why not invest in a good impression? Life isn't fair, fair is how you treat other people. Take that little token of wisdom with you and your date is sure to be moonstruck by your mature, sophisticated demeanor.
Easy right? Most things in life are easy, you just have to decide you want to do them. Now go get some coffee, score a date and let us know how it goes.
Veronica Reynolds (Vlectronica) is the Community Manager and online dating blogger for WooMe.com, the world’s largest live introductions platform where people meet live in chat sessions via webcam around any shared interest for fun, to hook up, or for pure entertainment. Veronica loves social media and is online a lot; feel free to contact her on Twitter with questions or thoughts.
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I also hang out in coffee shops a lot, since I make my living as a writer, primarily from home. I'm there to work, and anyone working your little steps on me while I had my laptop open in front of me and papers spread out around me would very quickly reveal himself as an inconsiderate ass. Just as well to get it over with at that stage, I guess, because the three-day-game screams "I read a book or blog post somewhere and I'm attempting to manipulate you according to someone else's instructions." Oh, well. I guess men who follow checklists they find online and women who buy into this kind of game probably deserve one another.