Perhaps you’re a nice guy. You don’t take advantage of a situation; you let your buddy get in there with the girl. Maybe you don’t take chances. Maybe you feel that you’re just a genuinely good guy, great even. Perhaps you feel you’re so freaking nice and awesome you never have to eat the heel end of a piece of bread. I’m here, today, to tell you that you’re probably right. However, it doesn’t matter cause it’s not likely to get you laid… Or if it does, it’s not going to be on your terms.
First off I’m not going to tell you that you need to be an asshole to the world at large. I’m telling you that the world has a wicked sense of humor and loves to yank on the “short ones.” That is, grow some thick skin and shave em’ clean. If you want to read more, then please do.
Jim Doohan. He’s a nice guy, much loved by his friends and colleagues. You ask any past girlfriend, “he’s just a great guy, amazing and wonderful. I really hope he finds someone worthy of his love.” Loosely translated this means: “Great guy, but he bends and breaks with the slightest northerly breeze. That is, the guy’s sweet as pie, but he gets walked all over.
Jim doesn’t see a need to change his ways. I can respect that; a guy that sticks to his guns. However, it’s not going to get him the respect that women want. Women need to respect the men they are with. This respect doesn’t just stop at talent or intelligence or emotional stability. A woman needs to respect her man for the boundaries that he creates; she needs to be reassured that if she pushes her man that he’s going to have the spine to push back!
He feels there is a compromise in being that guy that turns into a jerk and pushes back. In his mind he feels that not being nice, means that he’s going to be disrespectful and rude to his woman, or to his friends for that matter. That’s not the case, though. Pushing back merely means standing your ground and saying “no” or, if the situation calls for it, “get the f*ck out of here before I beat you to death with a Garden Gnome” (don’t ask me why I chose Garden Gnome, it’s 4am as I write this).
Garced is a young man, with a heart of fudge; pliable, sweet and rich. As dependable a friend as anyone could ask for. Yeah, he’s that’s awesome. To be his friend is to understand how truly lucky one can be in life.
Sometimes friends take advantage of this kindness… I have taken advantage of this kindness. I owe this guy money, not thousands of dollars, but a couple hundred. He’s never asked for it, it’s not as though he couldn’t use it. I’m not the only one in this category, however. The friends that need him often bulldoze him. More times than not he just can’t put his foot down. Is that his friends’ fault or is it Garced’s?
In love, well, this is a whole other matter. Garced has made me proud after breaking a sexual dry spell spanning a couple presidential terms. Today, man oh man… He’s certainly made me proud. He’s begun to discover his inner jerk. Speaking of which, we all NEED that inner jerk. We just do. It’s what preserves us and keeps us from getting railroaded by the more aggressive types of the world, the alphas, if you will.
He’s managed to torpedo his insanity by playing the ping pong ball between two paddles. These paddles represent women, if you needed clarification. He’s managed to engage in x-rated congress with each woman, telling each one about the other and now they are both demanding his time and attention. Not a bad situation to be in, unless you really could do without doing either one of them. You know, life is tough enough without Irony coming to your party and wrecking your day. Garced now has a “full garden” from which to delight himself, but these are not the fruits he sought. Is this a case of the grass being greener on the other side? No. This is a case of being yanked into a situation and not being firm enough and dickish enough to get out of it.
The man is being controlled by his situation.
Being nice will get you a lot of things. People will admire you, but you’re likely not getting the best of the situation, it’s getting the best of you (not to quote the Foo Fighters or anything). Let your inner jerk out and get some exercise once in a while, kids.
What do you think? Even if you’re nice, should you be a jerk sometimes to let people know what lines and boundaries not to cross?