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Billy, the Virgin Slayer…

A Virgin Slayer?  What the hell is that!!?  It's a loose term that I assign to guys that are strictly after women who are virgins.  In this day and age that seems like an odd concept; not necessarily for someone to pursue a virgin, but that someone is a virgin at all seems to be unusual.

Enter my friend Billy.Billy and I have been friends for a long time.  He's a good looking guy and he's always getting looks from women when we're out and about.  My female friends comment on how handsome he is.  He is possessed of a raw sex appeal that women take notice of.  His problem is that he doesn't approach women.  Nope.  He won't do it.  Not because he thinks he's better than them or above that sort of thing.  The guy's just a bit too insecure to make a move.  Thus, he settles a  lot of times for women he doesn't really want.  Sure, he shouldn't settle, yet he does.

He's been with his share of women.  Most of them I don't really care for.  Usually, these women, too, tend to be insecure and end up really dominating Billy's time and get jealous when he goes out without them.  Seriously.  Like every girlfriend he's had has been like this!  In all, Billy's a great guy, has a good heart and loves his family.  He wants a house 2.5 million kids and three dogs, two ducks, a kaleidoscope and every fighting game ever made.  That's not too much to ask.  Is it?

For the last four years or so Billy has been taking annual trips to spend time with family that live in Mexico.  It was only until recently that Billy told me that the main purpose for his visits is to find a bride.  Not only find a bride, but a younger virgin bride… This, I thought, was a bit weird and somewhat extreme.

I've heard of plenty of people who are virgins who wait to get married.  I respect that.  In fact one of my friends is getting married in March and is one and he's 33… I'd have imploded at some point.  Then I went to a wedding with a friend of mine and the couple were also virgins and they were thirty!  So it's not unheard of, it's just rare.

Billy's reasons were that he wanted to find a nice, respectful woman that would help take care of the home and raise the kids that he wants.  He wants a housewife.  When I prodded further I wanted to know: Why does this bride have to be a virgin?  His answer was that women who are sexually active have lower morals and are less inclined to stick through a message and more likely to cheat…  Well, I turned that logic around real quick and asked Billy if he holds himself to the same belief since he's sexually active.  “It doesn't matter. I'm the man,” he replied…  In other words he had no good response.

Date Daily had a good post on the topic of why men want virgins. I think that some men feel really intimidated by women who are not only sexually experienced, but also experienced in life and, perhaps, more worldly experience… Personally, these are the sorts of women that I seek.  Why?  I want to meet women that can relate to me; women that I can relate to and learn from as well.  We get better at activities when we perform them with someone who is better or more skillful in said activity.  This is true in life, too, I think.  We gain more knowledge, more insight when we surround our selves with people who are smarter and have a more enlightened outlook on life.  Which is why Billy's preference for younger virgin women just makes me a bit crazy.

I know Billy's folks didn't like the women that he would bring home. Perhaps there is a lot of their influence in Billy's trips to Mexico.  I'd bet on it actually.  I think it's too bad really.  I think he's missing out on meeting a lot of great women because his focus is so narrowed.

What do you think?

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Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.

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2 Comments

  1. Wow there are still guys like this?

    I grew up with a similar set of beliefs, and imploded at 23. I'm probably going to hell.

    Having sex or having had sex alone does not denote any kind of lack of morals, unless you truly want someone who is black and white rigid. I do not, which is why I imploded at 23.

    It honestly sounds like the guy has seen so much failure in his current relationships that he's reverting to his "roots" or "religion" or anything to make something work.

    He wants a good girl who will treat him well. He's just going about it very strangely. You may want to warn him though, that girls who wait for sex til marriage.. often change after sex/marriage and can turn into quite the witch. So he needs to make sure he understands her expectations of the relationship, lifestyle, and sexual appetites.

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