Relationships are a funny, wonderful, awful thing. That is, they can be wonderful, spirtitually uplifting and great to be in. The flip side to that coin, of course they can be gut-wrenching, emotion-draining, heart slayers. We know this and we understand it, most of us anyway. The Sun and the Moon, good and evil, Coke and Pepsi, Big Spoon and Little Spoon; I could go on, but there’s two sides to every coin… For the nerdier folk; there’s twenty sides to a D20. To have a happy relationship; it must also suck.
That’s right! To know a truly happy relationship that is healthy, strong and enduring, one must experience peaks and valleys and, no, fellas, I’m not referring to a “woman’s peaks and valleys.”
When a person has found their partner; their counterpoint, they often show their best sides. They underscore those qualities that make them stand apart from the rest. Why wouldn’t they? However, when a couple shares strong feelings, even love, they may even overlook crucial flaws in their partner with the hope of keeping their relationship right and steady… It takes time, however, before the sheen wears off, when a person’s true self is revealed and can no longer be ignored. Along with that all that “good stuff” is the laundry list, however long or short, of bad stuff that is brought to bear… That’s when and where relationships really begin to take shape.
As too much sunshine is a bad thing, so is too much happiness in a relationship. That’s just the way it is. In the Matrix, Agent Smith says they created a Matrix that was a perfect Utopia; but the human mind rejected it; it was too perfect, the human mind needed to struggle and to feel pain. Relationships are like that, too! I think a lot of people go into relationships thinking about just that part of the relationship that is sunshine and virtual perfection… That’s virtual insanity, in my picture book!
We experience pain, sadness and depression at various points, sometimes for no reason at all. Maybe a raindrop fell on our head; perhaps someone sneered at you like you’re a complete jerk for wearing stretchy pants (if so, understand that person sneering at you was me!) and then it put a damper on your day. Really, though, the reason is irrelevant. If you feel shtty, you feel shtty, end of story… It’s naïve to think any one person is high on life 100% of the time.
That said, it’s easy to want to “fix” whatever your partner may be going through, or to get yourself out of a funk. Funks happen, sometimes it’s just better to let things be as they are; to let a conclusion occur on its own; like waiting for rainclouds to pass on to reveal the sun, after a few days of torrential downpour. My point here is to let things be.
It’s okay for things to suck, it’s natural to struggle and to not be okay. That’s life, y’all and that b*tch, like a good healthy relationship, is a marathon and not a sprint; the scenery changes a lot more in a marathon.