Confessions of a Jerk | A Bad Break Up.

There are times when a person reflects on the past and upon that reflection a person may realize that there's something they could have done better. In particular, I'm referring to a break up with an ex.  One that happened some time ago.  Upon further reflection, I think there was a better way to do it.  At the time, though, it made for a funny story.  Actually, it still makes me snicker and those that I tell the story to as well.  So… What was so bad?Well, this one gal I was dating, we'd been together for a while.  However, things were going south.  The writing was on the wall, so to speak and I chose to ignore it.   When issues arise or things just aren't right communication is invaluable.  I know I sound like an after school special.  Right?  Actually, were there ever any after school specials that deal with the topic of breaking up with your woman the right way?  I don't think so.  Thus, I blame my crappy break up skills on television programming during the 80s for not equipping me with the appropriate tools to deal with such things.

Anyway, we had both let issues go without talking about them and eventually it came to a head at a party I was hosting.  Without getting into all of the details, since this is about the break up and all, there were a number of things that occurred that really sealed the deal for me, in addition to what some of my close friends were saying.  The weird thing, though, was at one point, I began to receive text messages from one of my ex's friends.  This friend of hers was telling me that I should “just break up with her.”  The text messages went on and revealed a few more things that really did put the final nail in the coffin…  I knew what I had to do.  But my ex was passed out on my bed.  The “talk” would have to wait until morning.

That morning came and this is the part of the story where I feel like a jerk.  You see, given our problems, my ex and I hadn't been… intimate… for some time, more than a month in fact.  For whatever reason, “it” happened in the morning and we had sex, so I had to hold off on our talk… the “baby arm” wasn't going to take care of itself now.  Was it?  We each had taken a shower, I went downstairs to survey the wreckage from the previous nights' festivities.  It turned out that no one stayed the night, or they cleared about before I came downstairs because they probably knew I'd enlist their help (assholes).  I didn't want to clean it myself, obviously.  So the talk would have to wait.  It was a TON of work!!  So my ex helped me clean the place and about 4 hours later we sat on the couch.  Both of us were spent and hung over.  My ex suggests we go grab lunch and that is when I finally initiate “the talk.”  “Yeah, about that… I think we need to talk…” It was brief and to the point, yet intense.  We were both at the same point and knew that this was the best direction to take…  I walked my ex to her car and that was the end of that.

In summary, having sex with my ex, making my ex help me clean and then not buying her lunch and then breaking up with her, are the reasons why I am, in fact, a big jerk.  Or is there more?  I'm inclined to think that I handled that situation both selfishly and poorly and I would have done it differently because I know who it hurt and how much.  However, in my defense, I was hurting, too, because of what my ex's friend had revealed to me during the party… Perhaps I was acting out? I'm not sure, but it doesn't matter I suppose.

So when I am at the pubs and I hear someone yell, “Where is the jerk that calls himself the Yannibmbr?”  I will stick my head out and respond, “Sir!  I am that jerk.”

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Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.

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    1. Keep in mind, this wasn't pre-meditated or anything so I wasn't planning on doing things the way that they did… It just kinda happened and, given the previous night's events, I wasn't going to go out with a bang… Wow. Pun NOT intentional.

  2. that was sad to hear that you broke up. But just smile and look at the brighter side of life. Maybe it was bound to happen. Learn from it and promise that you wont do it again. You will find someone else out there that deserved to be love unconditionally.

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