No one likes getting broken up with. In fact, most people hate it. Even if you and your partner split on congenial terms—he’s moving away for school, you’re too busy with work for a relationship, you both just see that your lives are going different ways—it hurts to end something that was once good.
It hurts a lot.
While there’s no way to erase the healing period, there are ways to get on with your life while you’re healing.
Get Back on the Health Horse
Many of us resort to comforting ourselves with fatty foods and lazy habits; that’s okay for the first day or two, but don’t let your healing period get the worst of you.
If you can’t muster the energy to do anything but watch sappy movies and suck down potato chips every night, at least make sure you’re sweating it off in the morning with an hour-long run or a hot yoga class.
Balance comforting yourself emotionally with taking care of yourself physically, and you’ll find that you’re back to yourself more quickly than you originally thought possible.
Stick With Your Friends
The rejection of a break up can have you feeling like no one—not even your best friend or mother—could possibly want to spend time with you. That’s not just a stupid way to think; it’s dangerous, too.
Breaking up doesn’t mean everyone hates you, it means one person couldn’t find a way to be with you anymore. Face it—there are billions of people in the world, and a lot of them probably aren’t your biggest fan.
But a lot of them are. So make an effort to surround yourself with the people who care about you. The Truth About Six Pack Abs review the key factors in getting healthy, and the number one thing crucial to getting and staying in shape isn’t diet or exercise.
It’s community and lifestyle.
People are social animals, so indulge in some movie nights with your girlfriends, dinner with your parents, a night out with the guys—whatever.
I can’t come to your house and talk the ice cream scoop out of your hand, but I can tell you this: healthy food improves your mood, and a better mood decreases the feeling-sorry-for-yourself period, post-break up.
Sure, a bowl of ice cream is okay the night after you call it off with your ex. But the next day, it’s back to a healthy, balanced diet. Lots of veggies, a little fruit, and some nuts. Flesh it out with one or two servings of animal proteins. Beyond the dietary benefits of weight loss and living longer, you'll just be plain happier.
If you’re a vegetarian or vegan, eat plenty of nuts or tofu to supplement your diet. No matter how you do it, just do it.
Finally, don’t let yourself wallow. Most of us feel lost when a relationship ends because everything we used to do was done with our ex.
Trips to the farmers’ market, nights out at the movies, cooking dinner, going to the gym. Trying to keep a normal schedule can become a double-edged sword: you’re too heartbroken to find the motivation to get up and go, and when you do make it out of the house, everything you do reminds you of your relationship.
Easy solution? Try something new, and rebuild your confidence. This is the perfect time to break out of your shell and try that ballroom dancing class you’ve always wanted to take, or try a creative writing course at the local community college. Enlist a friend or two to adventure out with you.
Or, take on something new around the house; have your best friends over for an iced-tea-and-living-room-painting party. Get your garden back on track with the help of your dad’s green thumb, or ask your mom to finally show you how to make her famous honey ham.
The moment you find your mind wandering to a sad place, shake yourself (physically, if you have to!) and call someone to make a plan.
Even if you don’t end up going out, the distraction of conversation will give your mind a much-deserved respite from the depression of a breakup, which is exactly what you need—and deserve!
About Dr. Mike Tremba
Dr Mike is a writer, publisher, and of course, past (pre-marriage) dater. He can usually be found on the great beaches of Southern Alabama, or somewhere outside getting exercise. Through the failures he's had (as well as the successes), he loves sharing his tips on making life more enjoyable.