Meeting people isn't difficult. Meeting people you actually want to spend time with? That is.
And when it comes to meeting people you’re interested in becoming romantically involved with? Forget about it. You may as well attempt a one-legged back flip into a pool full of hammers.
It’s not a matter of there being too few fish in the see; rather, there’s too much water pollution to weed your way through the sludge and actually catch something.
But don’t worry. There’s hope.
I know how it feels to be looking for love and coming up empty handed, try after try. The truth is, if you haven’t found the right person for you yet, it’s not that you aren't looking hard enough; you’re just not looking in the right places.
Peas And Carrots, Not Apples And Oranges
Everyone thinks they know their “type.” People say things like, I like blondes; I like long legs; I like green eyes, or soccer players, or people with golden retrievers. But traits like these don’t land you next to someone you’re in sync with; they land you next to someone you can stare at.
While looking is all well and good, you need to find the peas to your carrots and stop trying to line your apples up to a bunch of oranges, if you get my meaning.
A particular lifestyle program, The Diet Solution Program review of all things helped me see this light in a funny sort of way. You see, finding your perfect match is a lot like getting in shape. Everyone wants to do it, but not too many people know how.
Focusing on yourself is the only way to get what you want out of life—every part of it, including love.
Follow Your Bliss
When I say, “Meeting people,” what’s the first situation you think of? Is it a bar? Your office break room? Blind dates your friends set up for you?
Unfortunately, this isn't Hollywood. None of these scenarios are likely to land you long-term love. And just because your best friend’s sister met her perfect match in a bar doesn't mean you can, too.
You see, what’s wrong with these tired standbys is that they’re all focused too generally. You can’t just walk into a bar and expect to make eye contact with your soul mate, and unless your Jim and Pam, office romances never end well.
As for blind dates, well, your friends are great I’m sure, but I guarantee who they think you should be dating is not who you think you should be dating.
Where are you most happy? The gym? Walking your dog in the park? Reading a book in a quiet corner of Barnes and Noble? Wherever you feel the most at peace is where you’re most likely to discover a kindred spirit.
Be bold and start a conversation. Be even bolder and extend an invitation. And if you’re turned down, be the boldest you’ve ever been and brush it off.
Log On For Love
Already tried the old, “casually reading a book and bumping into strangers,” trick? Here’s a fun fact for you: more than half of the couples I know met up online.
No, not in World of Warcraft—for the most part—but on dating websites.
Believe it or not, some great dating sites ask just the right questions to point you toward really great compatibility. A lot of people are wary of online dating, and it can feel a little strange at first, but if you've tried every other outlet and feel like there’s just no one out there for you, it’s worth a shot.
The screen between you and your potential match can provide the perfect amount of security to reach out, while giving you the confidence you need to extend yourself to someone in the first place.
And in this busy, 24/7 work-and-no-play world where most of us live, logging onto a dating site for a few minutes a day is the only time a lot of us will ever have to scope out the single scene.
Expect The Unexpected
Finally, keep in mind that there really isn't a “right” place or time to meet people; rather, when you feel drawn to someone, you should act on it. In a particular weight-loss program, Truth About Six Pack Abs Reviews, there's some great stories of strangers who met in the gym of all places. Years later, they're fitter, happier, and oh yea, together with the love of their lives. It never would have happened had someone not said that first “hello”.
If you’re commuting home on the train and catch a stranger’s eye, start a conversation. Worst thing that could happen? Someone you’ll probably never see again ignores you. Best thing? You make a connection that could last the rest of your life.
Circling back to what we talked about at the beginning of this article, remember: You’re not looking for love in all the wrong places, you’re just not looking with the right perception of yourself.
About Dr. Mike Tremba
Dr Mike is a writer, publisher, and of course, past (pre-marriage) dater. He can usually be found on the great beaches of Southern Alabama, or somewhere outside getting exercise. Through the failures he's had (as well as the successes), he loves sharing his tips on making life more enjoyable.