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Too Fat to F*ck?

Are You Too Fat to be Fucking?
Are You Too Fat to be Fucking?

If the 2001 movie Shallow Hal taught us anything, it's not that inner beauty wins, it's that shitty movies are made and instead of learning a valuable life lesson, you end up losing forty bucks at the theater, in addition to the 113 minutes you'll never get back. Eff you Jack Black!

I know that the whole weight discussion is a sensitive topic for most people. I'm not exactly… petite, if you will. However, I do things to stay active, like sitting in front of the computer and writing opinions on stuff I'm not qualified to give opinions on. You dig? Seriously, I do keep active, I do hike, jog, challenge bums to MMA bouts in front of the local 7-11. It's not exactly hardcore, but I do try to keep up with my active girlfriend. She appreciates that and shows me in ways that are… very much appreciated.

Even though I'm not a super fit kind of guy (I am overweight), I manage to maintain a level of activity in life and because I do manage to stay active it manifests itself in different ways, one of which is having more energy in the bedroom.

The fact is, if you feel good about yourself, regardless of whether you're overweight or not, you'll want to get down and freaky with your special someone, or that new stranger at the end of the bar. I know a number of hefty-folk that get down far  more than their skinny-minny counterparts.

While it's true that self-esteem plays a role in heightened sexual pleasure, it doesn't mean that you have to be lean and cut to enjoy the fruits of another. I know plenty of portly folks who have sex way more than I do. One of my friends I talked to, regarding this piece, had this to say: “You know, bro, I know I'm hefty fatty-type guy and, sure, I could lose some weight… But I like who I am and so does my woman.” I think that comment underscores one of the things that keeps a sexual relationship healthy. Chemistry and self-love. Sexual chemistry is at the forefront of what keeps a sexual relationship passionate and burning. The other is attraction, be it mental or physical.

If you truly love yourself and feel good about yourself, it will resonate with those around you, especially your partner. That self-love has a lot to do with attracting people to you. However, if you don't have a positive body image (I've seen more “in-shape” people with this issue than overweight people fyi) then it's hard to get down and dirty as well.

How do you overcome a negative body image?

Well, I'm no doctor, but I can tell you a few things that do help and can increase that sexual desire.

  1. Working out – No, no. Don't lift the muffin to your mouth and take a bite, then repeat. The exertion that goes into a workout is a great stimulant. I know that when I see my woman come back from a rigorous workout, it turns me on and she has a hard time resting, as I help get her out of those sweaty workout rags. My girlfriend and will go on walks, hikes, or even go to a local park, set down some towels and do exercises. Be creative, get outdoors and work up a sweat to, you know, work up a sweat later!
  2. Eat better – Eating better, healthier, foods can also contribute to increased energy levels and more stamina for physically demanding activities (read: sex). If you can, avoid alcohol. While I do love my craft beers, I know that they make me sluggish and tired. When I drink beer, I don't really feel like having sex later… True story.
  3. Losing weight – Maybe this one is a give, maybe not. When one loses weight, they can become more confident, energetic and certainly have an improved body image. When you feel good about yourself and about your partner, you will show it in a sexual manner.

So, can you be too fat to fuck? Conclusions?

Sex is all about self-esteem and feeling good about yourself, regardless of how big or how tiny you may be. If you're not feeling good about the amount of sex you're having, or if you're lacking the interest to get down and dirty with your partner, then get physical. You don't have to go to the gym, just get outdoors. Really, there's another post in here on what to do outdoors to get active in the bedroom.
What do you think?

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Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.

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  1. Based on the title, I thought this was going to be a post about physical limitations…as in, IT isn't long/large enough to fit in THERE beyond all the FAT that's in the way.

    Imagine my relief. (That's a whole other post you've got in mind, right?)

    Seriously though, you are right on the money.

    The only remedy is just as you say…bring on, bring out, bring up, that inner confidence. Whatever, however, you obtain it, once you have it, you'll enjoy the primal urges so much more and so often.

    Your suggestions on how to gain that sense of self are perfect IMO. Let's not forgot looking at yourself in the mirror and repeating, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough….and gosh darn it, people like me." πŸ˜‰

    1. Leave it to you to go quote Stuart Smalley. =)

      I just know that there are people out there not having sex due, not necessarily to being overweight, but due to poor body image… I have more than a couple of friends who are like that; if they got a bit more active and felt good about themselves it would go a long way to helping that out.
      My recent post Apples and Oranges with Asana, Team Lab and Apollo HQ

  2. What are you talking about? Alcohol makes me more rowdy in that area, and I'm a cheap date. πŸ˜‰

  3. A. Stop talking about all the fat sex you're having! Some of us are single yo!
    B. I like me some beefy boys. πŸ™‚ I don't think size and being 'in shape' are usually the same thing fyi….but if you're too tired to have sex then you need to stop playing video games and get off your ass!
    C. NEVER, I repeat NEVER mention that you should stop drinking beer. I'm so disappointed in you. πŸ™

    1. Holy shit, girl. Tell me how you really feel! Lol. I promise. I'll never stop drinking beer. πŸ˜‰

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