Ask the Urban Dater: What Does it Mean if a Guy Gives You His Number? Does it Matter?

Well here's another question posed to the Urban Dater recently.

@lildevilmama asks:
What does it mean if a guy gives you his number? Does it mean he's not interested? Does it matter?

A solid question, lil' mama and yeah, it does matter!

In the approach game, if a guy is interested in a girl, he should approach her open a conversation and close by saying his goodbyes and hopefully get a number.  That's the general, if over simplified, way that interaction should break down.  That the guy gave you HIS number does mean that he's interested but, in my opinion, he's lacking the confidence to really ask you out.  I suppose he may truly be not interested, but in either case you should NOT call that number, no matter how good looking the guy is or how many days have passed.

You see, I feel that if there's something you want in life, you make an effort.  Anything worth having is worth making an effort for… Sometimes people forget that.  Firstly do you not want someone who actually makes an effort to attain the things that they want; desire out of life?  I know I do.  Part of it is being goal oriented, part of it is just taking the drivers seat in life.  Secondly, aren't YOU worth the effort?  Yeah, you are worth the effort.  A woman should be pursued! That's what women really want!  She should feel wanted and a man needs to understand this and make an effort.

In short, no, do not call this guy.  If he can't be bothered to ask you out; you certainly can't be bothered to contact him.  He's not worth the time or the effort after all.

Until next time, ladies, don't be givin' no time to chicken heads!

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Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.

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  1. When a guy gives you his number it's because he KNOWS that you like him so he knows you WILL call, there is no reason for him to ask you for your number because he will get it once you call him.

  2. What about this though.

    I'm a guy, and where I work a lot of good looking women come in. We are not permitted to get someone's number while working or contact them outside of work and if we get caught doing so will most likely be fired. So, today a good looking girl came in and – although I have gotten many number outside of work and do have the confidence – I gave her my number and told her to let me know if she ever wants to hang out. See if she contacts me, I am not jeaprodizing my job, and it is a little more passive and works better in the work environment. It puts the ball in her court. I think you over generalized in your advice here. There are plenty of situations where a confident guy may give you his number with intention to persue you. Like me today, I don't want to lose my job, so I took a chance & gave her my number. I say, just shoot him a text n see if he calls.

    1. A guy from work just gave me his number, but he doesn’t work for the hospital as a direct employee, he works with an insurance agent marketting insurance. So, i dont think his job will be at stake if he requested my number. However, I offered him my number when he gave me his, but he told me it’s better I call, that way he’ll have my number. I’m not sure if it’s because there was another guy there eavesdropping or if something is wrong somewhere. Hmmm! even though I like the guy, I still have some dignity to preserve, so I’m not sure I should contact him. Maybe, i shouldn’t

  3. I have had this delivery guy delivering my packages for years, I know we are attracted to each other but he would never ask me out or even ask me for my number. We always use to bump into each other on the streets and we talk as he did his thing, so for awhile weeks or even a months would go by and we wouldn’t see each other, so one day I had bumped into him in the streets while he was making his deliveries and told me he had a package for me if I was going to be home, I told him I was going to be working, he then decided to give me # to text him if I was going to be home. Call me crazy but I wanted to believe he was trying to use this as an excuse to give me his #. I didn’t text him because like I said I was going to be working. It didn’t make sense to me now to text him, I really like this guy and I was thinking of texting him just to see if he would make a moves afterwards. What do you advice me to do… If he doesn’t text me to talk (now that he has my #) I just won’t text him again and I’ll know where I stand.

  4. I hate the fact everyone wants to treat dating like a game. If someone likes you enough to give you your number and you are interested in them fucking shoot them a text. I mean seriously its like next to no effort.

    Alex can suck a dick. Don’t listen to him.

    1. But in my situation, this guy at my workplace flirts with me…says hi to me…says bye …finally asked me out to dinner after months…but it didnt happen…then i went to him and asked him a few weeks later when was he going to take me out to eat…he said “whenever just call me”…i said well i dont have your number…then he gave me his number and says that he thought that i was accustomed to the fast life…i asked him why…he wouldnt tell me. Even though i knew exactly why… Then he told me to call his phone so that he would have my number…then i had text him later that night, but he never texted back….i never text him again…next day he didnt say anything to me …i didnt say shit to him either..what the hell is this about … just through me off with not saying shit to me

      1. Ha! Know that feeling, have them do that to me too, cut contact after talking briefly, suddenly they text less and less/stop altogether. I just assume someone more suitable comes along(online dating atm) but i have no idea!

  5. Yesturday I was in my office and a resident came in to ask some questions about transfering into a different unit. Mind you we have had a few prior encounters that I suppose could pass for flirting. He took my business card and wrote his number on the back and said give me a call sometime so we can hang out. I said awkwardly ok. Then I offered him my number and gave it to him feeling like I should… When we were done talking about personal stuff he hugged me tight and kissed me on the cheek and said I look foward to seeing you sometime. Should I call him???

  6. I flirted with this guy at his work had the balls to ask him if he wanted to hang out he gave me his number … I called 2 days afterwards he wasn’t there ? Wtf why would you give someone your number and not be there or have someone else pick up laughing and saying he would call me later ……… haha not Funny

  7. Similar thing happen to me too. I was just working out at the gym one day and this guy came up to me that I’ve never seen before, real good looking guy and he asked me what I was working on and I told him what I was working on and started talking about gym hopping and going to certain gyms, and I agree that I’ve been to them. just a little conversation for like less than 5 minutes, and then we began to start our workout standing next to each other And about 45 minutes later, I came back to him and talked a little bit more about, you know, was he going to gym hop at another spot, and he said yes and then he was like hey put my number in your phone. Well I didn’t want to exchange numbers just yet because we just started talking and we didn’t even talk long enough, and I kind of wanted him to pursue me. so I was just like we have plenty of time and how about if you come back tomorrow, I’ll give you my number then right now I just start talking to you today and he said to me ok I better put my number in his phone tomorrow and I was like well you better be here tomorrow, and we laughed and I went home. I was hoping that he would actually come back to that gym tomorrow if you really wanted to talk to me and get my number but not to my surprise, he did not show up the next day at the gym. So that tells me that he didn’t really want me that bad and that he was not going to pursue me. Because yes I wanted him to pursue me and no this is not something I regularly do. I normally just give a guy my number when he asks for it or vice versa and this time I want to be like no kind of work for it a little bit like, show me you want me by coming back tomorrow and he couldn’t even do that. So I’m kind of glad I didn’t take his number because I don’t think he was really looking for anything serious if he didn’t make the extra effort by coming back the next day to make sure we can keep in contact.

  8. okay so there’s this hot gut at my school who is kind of cold and arrogant but he is treating me specially at first he started the conversation while i was waiting for dad and he said that i’m a little girl i shouldn’t be waiting alone and that i could be kidnapped and laughed i hated him at first but then we became friends and he really treats me weeeelll and also he has a special look for me idk he smiles when he sees me and when i talk to him he shows me that he is happy and he even gave me his phone number and asked me to message me and he invited me to get in his car to go to an event together but he has a girlfriend…what does all of thaat mean ????

  9. so today i went to pick up a takeaway which is 5 minute walk away from me. My friends aren’t here they have gone back home whilst I’m staying at our accomodation because I’m too far from home. anyway I went alone to pickup takeout from where us girls always go except this time I went alone. I remained on the phone the entire time I was at the takeaway. The guy who serves always says hi, takes the order gives me a slight smile and then thank you, bye. Today it was the same possibly a bit more smiling and lots of eye contact I did catch his eyes for most of the 20 minutes. I came back home and after eating my meal I used a napkin under which I noticed a scrap of cardboard I was SURPRISED to see that turning the cardboard over it had a number written on it! I have been thinking for last few hours could it be an accident maybe it fell in or he was suppose to give it to a friend, or maybe it is not his number? if it is what should I do… please advise me

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