Niche Dating for the Ugly People. Why?

Mmm mm. I need a kiss from this ugly.

Alright, we're shallow. I'm shallow. There's no way around it for me. I have always placed aesthetics above practical reason and substance most of my life. I lucked out in finding a lovely woman who has a lot going on under the hood, too, meaning she's awesome. However, I can't deny the fact that, yeah, I always look on the outside first. Always have. With that in mind, it's something I've carried with me on the variety of online dating sites I've been a part of over the years. That's how one gets dates. Put your best “face” forward on your profile, watch messages pour in, date and repeat. Right?

Of course it's right. That's the nature of the human beast; to seek out that which demands our attention.

When I read about a dating site for ugly people I thought to myself “Well, there you go, it was only a matter of time. Yet another in a long line of niche dating sites catering to a specific demographic. Ugly people.” Obviously the term “ugly” is subjective. There's really no definition of what ugly means, as it means something different to each of us. Some people do love the uni-brow, after all.

We have niche dating sites for women looking for rich men, dating sites for only beautiful people and dating sites for vampire midgets who like to wrestle in oil. I mean, the shear breadth and variety of niche sites is insanely huge and this isn't news, I realize. It's just that, for some reason, I had this irrational hope that a niche site for “uglies” would never be.

Consider me officially crushed.

You see, how can anything positive come from such a dating site? It's a site predicated on the the understanding that the people on this site are of a different standard then everyone else. I think that sucks. I don't like it because, as I said, “ugly” is subject as is beauty. I mean, now there is this option, a dating site, that really stirs that inner dialogue and makes one ask: “Am I ugly and should I join this site because I'm ugly?” I just think that's shitty. Why should people feel the need to join a site built on a shared negative perception? “You are ugly, join this dating site of other uglies.”

Perhaps I'm missing the point. Perhaps it's as simple as a need to belong with others like ourselves. I just don't understand how it is a good thing to promote such a notion. Perhaps I am simply naive.

Now, I can't say that people haven't called me ugly and/or worse, they have, and perhaps I am. I don't believe that, though. I feel it's my positive attitude and self love that makes feel like I'm a good person who ain't too shabby looking.

Anyway, the site that got me started on this path is the Ugly Bug Ball. Check it out and let us know what you think.

Author profile

Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.

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6 Comments

  1. I guess that's what I'm saying. Who defines what is "average?" I just think with this hyper segmentation/fragmentation mentality in the online dating world that we really set ourselves up to be much, much more discriminate.

  2. I consider myself to be pretty confident but I'm not gonna lie……I would stop and wonder. I don't like the idea because of how subjective appearance is. For example, I like big guys quite often. Some might say big is ugly (easy marie claire), I on the other hand want to hit that! No me gusta Ugly Bug Ball.

  3. You know, even OKCupid self-selects this way. They use some algorithm to determine which users have attractive photos, and if they do they are shown other users with attractive photos. And vice versa.

    Off the cuff, I would say that women have a much more realistic view of where they fall in the hotness spectrum than men do. I'd be interested to see what the gender breakdown ends up being on this site.

  4. This is a GOOD topic!

    I sifted through a few of the pics on UglyBugBall, and they look like everybody else…I don't know what I was expecting.

    Perhaps people like this service so they can stand out and be the "hot" one. Something about this reminds me of 'Dog Fight' with River Phoenix…

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