It's like a lucid dream.
The breathtaking moment that beautiful woman catches your eye.
Your perfect 10, the type of woman you've pictured yourself marrying, emerges from the monotony of everyday life.
She saunters closer, in slow motion like something from the movies.
Yet, you do nothing.
You're too afraid. Within a few seconds, the fairytale stops. Instead, everything stays exactly the same.
It happens to most men. It's happened to me on multiple occasions. It hurts beyond words.
I might be braver than most when it comes to making a move on women. I've hit on my fair share of strangers and embarrassed myself many times. But it was never worse than bottling it and wondering ‘what if?'
I hate feeling like fear is limiting my life, so I’ve set out a mission to become fearless around beautiful women.
Here's what I've learned so far…
Facing your fear
There's only one surefire method for overcoming fear. Face it.
In my case, this meant chatting up women in all sorts of scary situations.
- It meant staying sober in nightclubs while spam-approaching cute women.
- It meant hitting on people in seemingly inappropriate public places.
- It meant plowing through conversations that women appeared to not want to be in.
I'd force myself to flirt with ladies who I believed were out of my league, even if they were surrounded by moody macho-looking men. I'd deal with dozens of women who didn't like me to try to find the ones who did. I'd try to take these women home, even when it felt like the most unnatural thing to do.
It was terrifying but eventually it becomes easier. You notice that nothing too terrible ever occurs. You learn that most hot women are only human. The worst thing they can hurt is your ego.
Becoming better with women
An unsurprising benefit of all this is you get better at flirting with women.
It’s not just the nerves disappearing (although this will numb them to an extent). It's also your understanding of man-to-woman interactions.
How to approach, how to keep her attention, how to win over her peers and pull her home. When to be friendly, when to be physical, when to ask for her phone number…Speak to enough women and this stuff becomes second nature.
Practice makes perfect. It's no different to playing drums or throwing darts.
So get started as soon as you can!
Winning over your perfect woman
Sadly, the fear of flirting with beautiful women never fully leaves us. Our biological desire to be accepted by others will ensure that.
There are several steps you can take to numb your nerves, which I explain in my free ‘Fearless' PDF (The document also includes advice on starting conversations and keeping them going).
Even so, there's no secret shortcut with this. To truly be comfortable chatting up the hottest women, you have to put in the hours hitting on them.
Whenever you see a woman you like the look of, walk on over. Even if there are excuses. Even if you're not sure what to say. Introduce yourself and show her you think she's sexy. It's the only way to improve.
However well it goes, I guarantee you'll feel better for having spoken to her.
There might be a few more failed fairy tales before you finally pull that perfect princess.
But if you keep practicing, you won't be able to help to become that Prince Charming.
Photo Credit: Thong Vo
Joe Elvin is a dating/relationships blogger based in London. His book 'The Thrill Of The Chase', which explains how to truly thrive in singledom, was published in 2017. Download the first chapter for free at eepurl.com/c-cmGP.