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How Do YOU Like Your Fetishes? Kinky? Furry? Or Yo Mama?

Yay for Furries and Fetishes!

In the classy tradition of the Urban Dater, we included “Yo Mama” in today's post title. I know, I know; pretty effing brilliant! Right? No? Well, yo mama's so ugly that Nabisco uses her face as a cookie cutter to make gorilla cookies. I snicker a little bit every time, when I recite that one. Thanks to Mr. Summers, at F*cking in Brooklyn.

Anyway, much has been made of Fetishes in the last month or so by the good folks at @metanotherfrog and the Lovely @winkwinkzoe, on her blog. It's an interesting topic because fetishes are something we all have, whether we're aware of them or not. The variable here is the, how to say this PC? The variable in one's fetish is the uniqueness. There. Did I do that well? It got me to thinking about what mine, might be. While I mentioned the good folks at Met Another Frog, it seems I share a common interest with The Man Sam Sharpe and the inherent love we have for a little pain with our pleasure. That's not too far out there, but, let me tell you, there's some weird fetishes out there. The question I pose is this: Why do we have them?

Think about your fetish. What is it? Go on, you don't have to share with us or anything, but I'd double dog dare you to!

That said, in talking with Zoe Blue she's known some guys with some very unique fetishes in on of her posts she expands on this. I suggest you read it and the comments, too, for some more good stuff. It's interesting finding out the things that “get us off,” if not a bit (or extremely) creepy; but hey! Who are we to judge? I mean, we don't necessarily CHOOSE our fetishes. Do we?

We're slaves to nature. No matter how modern, advanced or techie we become, we simply cannot ignore the urges imprinted within us during our formative development.

To be clear, I do believe that fetishes and fantasies are two very different animals, so to speak. I think a fantasy is something you develop over time, as you've matured and are able to interpret and apply sexual meaning to something you perceive. A fetish on the other hand is something you just have; it's something that you may not realize when it started. I posed this question to some of my friends and asked: “Do you have a fetish?” They all answered “yes.” I then asked when they decided to have that fetish. None of them had an answer. They just had it, much like a birth mark. I found that interesting only because I can relate to that, yet I'd never paid it much thought before.

The other night I was hanging out with my girlfriend at a birthday party. There was this guy there, Raffi (if you want to think that Raffi is the children's song writer, then by all means, please do. It serves only to make this story all the more creepy, which I totally approve of), who works as a sexual behavioral analyst at UCLA Medical. Thank you UCLA for having this position! As Raffi and I were exchanging stories about sexual related information and experiences (this was within ten minutes of “What's up? I'm Alex”) we got onto the topic of why you sometimes find women wearing barely any clothes at the bar or club. Raffi offered an interesting stat line: “It's a statistical fact that the women who are wearing barely anything at the bar or club is the woman who is most likely ovulating.” Truly Raffi's info was a “The More You Know” moment ripped from the Saturday Morning Cartoon time slots of more innocent days… My point? We're slaves to nature. No matter how modern, advanced or techie we become, we simply cannot ignore the urges imprinted within us during our formative development.

We moved on to fetishes next. Why do we have them? At some point in our lives, almost certainly in our developmental stages, as children, we experience a particular event and some how attach a strong sexual emotion, or some sort of sexual context to it. This was the explanation that was given to me. Thus the response to a fetish triggers such a strong reaction, almost like the smell of a grandparents house, when you're a kid. It's “baked” within you.

So in Zoe's case, her guy that has the knitting fetish, Talib, may not know of anyone who knits in his life. However, there's a very likely possibility that his curiosity and eventual fetish started at a very young age. It's certainly possible he may have associated the act of knitting with a foot fetish as a small child, which developed over time. I know when I was a child I had such a fetish, which didn't follow me into my adulthood. I find that curious in and of itself.

As a kid, I horse played and wrestled around with other kids. That's what rambunctious kids do. As a child it's likely that I associated this act of wrestling around with girls in a sexual manner, even though I clearly wouldn't know how to interpret such a thing in the first place, at that age. Is that how we all develop a fetish? I couldn't say for sure, but in the brief interviews I had with my friends, the evidence I collected would certainly indicate that they formed their fetish as children and it then manifested itself over the passage of time.

So, are you brave enough to share your fetish and when you recall your first strong reaction to it? Share in the comments below.

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Alex is the founder and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs: DigiSavvy, for which he is the co-founder and Principal. Alex has a lot on his mind. Will he ever get it right? If he does, he'll be sure to write.

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21 Comments

    1. Does anyone really practice a fetish? I mean, really? Do they? If I had to guess yours, my guess is that you like men with hairy feet,w hich is why you're so gaga over orcs and Lord of the Rings… Or somethin'.

      Thanks as always, dearie.

  1. Hmmmmmm, I found this very interesting. Would love to talk to this Raffi character for sure!
    I would love to share, however, I don't know that I have one. I know there are things that I like, but they are pretty common. I like to be man handled but don't most girls? Spanks, hair pulling, small bites here and there…..are those 'fetish' status? I guess I always thought of fetishes as having to be very specific and/or unique. What say you?

    1. Oh bizzle! =) You have a fetish, it's in there… somewhere. Though, I wonder if it's something that develops with women, whereas it's more of a formative imprint on the child's mine, with respect to men and their fetish development.

      But the stuff you're talking about, Nicole, is just good ol' sexin' it up! Not really a fetish, but damn enjoyable.

  2. My husband has a thing for girls dressing up in sexy themed costumes and playing the part that goes with the costume.
    I'm not sure it is really a true fetish because he can survive without it, but he does request such play at least a few times a yer.

    1. You see, Miranda, that to me seems more like a fantasy and not so much a fetish. Fetishes, in many cases, seem almost irrational because of their… "uniqueness?" Fetishes are often acquired at a young age when a sexual response has been triggered and assigned to a seemingly innocent act like rubbing a foot or wrestling with a friend. Things that are otherwise innocuous.

  3. i have a fat fetish, there i said it i gotta say it feels pretty damn good to have a nice soft body squished up against you

  4. My fetish is anal and I can’t seem to get through masturbating without thinking about it. It truely captivates my sexual curiousity though I have never preformed the act with a partner or toy. It leads me to watch alot of yaoi. It also lead me to other tantilizing fetish like fantasies like anal vore and cum inflation but I don’t need those thoughts like I do anal thoughts to get off. I do wonder how I could have picked this up in childhood.

  5. I have a monster girl fetish (in a very broad sense of the word), though it could just be a taste for ero-art :/
    don’t know when i picked it up. apparently more common than i thought. then again im comparing myself to people from THAT PLACE (4chan)

  6. I have a trample fetish. I get turned on by guys standing on me and literally walking all over my body.

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