Jerking Off Soon at a Starbucks Near You…

Starbucks Jerk Off

I want to drop my Frappino on your... Lid?

Well, the lovely Single Much always has a gem or two to send through the email and made me aware to the phantom jerker, if you will. Jerking off and Starbucks. That’s the perfect marriage for me and I really need to find out who Senor PeePee is… I really, really do! If you know, leave a comment. Below is the post as it originally appeared on HuffPo.

A local man calling himself Mister PeePee is on a mission to masturbate in every Starbucks bathroom in New York City, and to photograph the results.
Starbucks Gossip reports PeePee, a self-described “big fan of Starbucks”, revealed some details of his endeavor on a [now unavailable] podcast on the Glory Hole Radio Network:

“I’ve got to rate the bathroom on cleanliness,” Mister PeePee said on The Glory Hole podcast, “and [note] if a person knocked on the door and interrupted me.”

One of his associates wanted Mister PeePee to also rate “how hot the chicks were in the location — customers and baristas” and “how frequently did someone try to open the door when you were trying to jerk off.”
“And lastly, how was the coffee?” added the podcast co-host.
A December [and now protected] tweet from @MisterPeePee reads,”Today’s Starbucks visit is rated as a 4 Boner. Spacious, clean, excellent coffee, strong wifi, no interruptions & 1 hot chick.”
So who is MisterPeePee? And has the intrepid jerk-off visited a Starbucks bathroom near you?
Reached for comment and maybe a big reveal, a source at Glory Hole Radio tells us, “Mister PeePee is a legend amongst our fans and a private man. I’m just surprised such an old segment on our show is only getting attention now.”
Looks like PeePee’s identity will remain a mystery. Even a Foursquare account under his name seems to have disappeared, so it will be tough to determine which of the 298 New York locations he’ll hit next. [UPDATE! Turns out PeePee’s foursquare account still exists after all! It appears he fancies Starbucks in and around the Flatiron district.]
Original article posted here
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Alex is the founder, creative director and managing editor at the Urban Dater. Alex also runs his own boutique marketing agency in Orange County, Ca: DigiSavvy. Among his treasured pursuits are bike rides with his girlfriend (don't be perverted, now!), hiking, watching the Portland Trailblazers and the LA Angels. Follow Alex: Twitter | LinkedIn


  1. Man-shopper says

    I was a long-time Starbucks barista in the Boston metro area during my younger years, and this guy is at least preferable to a patron whom we used to call "Honey Guy". He would take packets of honey from the condiment bar, sit himself in a chair in the cafe area, whip it out, and masturbate using the honey as his lube.

    He was actually the reason why our district issued a strict policy that required all Starbucks locations to keep honey packets behind the counter instead of at the condiment bar.

    Boy oh boy, do I miss working in the service industry;)

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