Marriages, like all other relationships, require serious work. And this work requires a joint effort; meaning that you have to recognize that your relationship is based on human love, and not infatuation. Your partner will make mistakes and you will make them too. The 80/20 rule definitely applies in marriages, nobody is perfect. The quality of your marriage and its duration hinges on your ability to have realistic expectations of each other. It’s never easy to forget about something that transpired between you two; but you can consciously choose to let it go. The sooner you are able to forgive and let go of what you feel they did or did not do to you, the quicker you both can move on to the next stage of your relationship. Here are 3 relationship rules to think about before you allow resentment to build up:
Recognize that your partner willingly entered into a relationship with you and that they did not replace the scolding of their parents with your correction. Marriage is about partnership; a voluntary agreement was made between two parties to willingly engage in a life-long journey together.
Before you go on a warpath and crucify your partner, keep in mind that you are bound to make mistakes in the future as well; and your mistake could be bigger than the one that you are accusing them of making.
It is very difficult to forget about situations that you don’t like, but you can diffuse your feelings by taking a deep breath and consciously choosing to let it go. And after you have let it go, make the choice to never bring it up again. We are all capable of erring, so if we think that the resentment we are holding is worth more than the weight of our relationship, then there may come a time when your marriage is lost and the resentment is all that is left. Always remember, if the shoe was on the other foot, how would you want your partner to treat you?