We're back with another edition of “Ask the Urban Dater,” where I attempt to give good/decent/shitty advice to random folks who read this, here, blog.
Today's question comes from Arlene Jaime Lynn Sigfreud, of Grand Rapids, Michigan.
I'm 47, why is it so many men my age are after the 25-30 year olds? (I mean besides the obvious tight body, winkle-free face). Don't these guys realize that these women will someday want children? Hello? Do you want a screaming baby when you're 55? I'm attractive, out-going and smarter-than-hell!! Why isn't that enough? Oh, I am also financially stable. And also, the men that are hitting on me are 65 or older. I want someone my age!
Arlene, I feel you. Really. Well, not about the part with old men hitting on me. Though, that happened at a gay bar once. A story for another time… Moving along.
There's no mystery here, Arlene. Men around your age, mid-forties to mid-fifties, still think like an 18 year old. Sure, they may have gained command of their finances; make better overall decisions, but at the end of the day, they're dirty old men who were once dirty young men. The only difference is it's no longer as cute now that they're older. True story.
Often, older men have something that younger women seek. Women in the 25 to 30 range may find it difficult to find a man of their own age to relate to on an emotional and even developmental level. That is, they want someone who'd fucking mature. This is where you'll see younger women get up for an older man. Older men will seek out younger women because they know they have something these women seek. Sometimes it's purely financial and the older man understands and accepts that the green-backs ensure the affections of a younger woman. Other times, though, a younger woman is able to relate better to an older man. And older man may not want to deal with the “baggage” that experience brings: Grown children, health issues, emotional scars etc. There's a perception among older men, at least those I've spoken with, that have dated younger women that these women tend to be “less complicated.” So, you see, it's not always about a tighter firmer ass!
Can I tell you, Arlene, I met a woman this past weekend, at a 5k I ran, who is 52 years old. She looked amazing (and had some of the best legs I've seen in a loooong time) and we were running side by side for a good portion of the race and the last quarter mile she turned up the accelerators and whooped my ass… Hot! She approached me after to ask me about the running app I was using to track my mileage. We talked and in complimenting her on her run she told me her age and I replied: “I think you should take me for a drink for what you just did to my ego.” She laughed and said: “Oh, my boyfriend would be jealous. I couldn't, I'm afraid.” I asked her if this boyfriend of hers could “keep up.” She smiled and walked away as we exchanged good-byes. Now, I'm 36 and I would do unspeakably dirty things to that woman…
Go ahead and judge me, but older women do age like a fine wine. If older men are passing such women up, they're missing out.