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The Attraction Factor: A Psychology of Sex


On your way to preparing for a hot and steamy date, you stop to take one look at your lips and realize that your lipstick isn’t right. For some reason or another, the color doesn't “pop” enough, so you wipe off your current color and opt for a richer, fuller red-after all, a girl’s got to have a vivacious red lipstick in her arsenal right?

Simultaneously, your date is trying to find the right mix of cool and soft cologne, with just the right amount of sweet that will keep you interested. We all have our rituals that we go through when we’re trying to have some “grown-up” fun but do we ever stop to think of why we do what we do?

Whether he knows it or not, while sitting across from him, even if you’re unaware of it, your presentation is prompting the flood of dopamine and other feel good chemicals through his brain. And in sort of a hypnotic way, you’re probably making him forget about how much money he’s about to spend on the evening in order for you both to have a great time (if he’s the one paying).

But let’s go a bit further-whether you both know it or not, the brightness of her lips whether pink or red lipstick mimics the engorgement of the labia during arousal. Your choice of both shoe and dress allows you to be higher up on your toes, causing more of your God-given curves to come up surface. And it is the same scenario for your date: their choice of color, fit, hair style and facial hair all have both biological and evolutionary meanings.

Psychologically speaking, the warmer the weather is outside, the more we want to engage in this ritual. Warmer weather mimics the psychological bliss we experience during intimacy. In fact, warmer, more bearable temperatures outside during both spring and early summer are more conducive for social gatherings. And it’s also during this time of the year, that people generally show more skin by wearing less clothing-allowing their most prominent features to be on display. Now some of us show a bit much, but that’s another subject for another article. A combination of our diet, the pheromones in our individual bodies, along with a little bit of sweat and other skin bacteria, aids in the production of your natural scent-which all play a part in the attraction factor.

We are multi-faceted beings with a variety of needs, on many levels. If we are always working to fulfill our desires on a physical, emotional, and biological level, it would be disrespectful to who we are as human beings to ignore our sexual needs. One need isn’t more “holier” than the other-all of our needs should have our full attention. We suffer most of the times because we are out of balance. And yes, you can be out of balance sexually speaking-whether you are extremely horny because you haven’t had an orgasm in 2 years, or you’re overly obsessed with sex. It’s your body-you can take care of that, don’t project your sexual frustrations onto someone else. We will always have problems in our public institutions, religions, businesses, and even in our personal lives until we give this part of ourselves its proper place. We might have some of the qualities of angels, but we are very much human animals.

Author Profile

Jesse Herriott is a 20′ something teacher, with academic training in the Social Sciences, English, Religion-Spirituality, and Depth Psychology. A by-product of Generation Next, Jesse believes that we are what we have been waiting on-and each of us have gifts and talents that are vital as humanity makes this next great creative leap forward. Jesse is an ordained priest in the Universal Anglican Church, an adjunct professor in Atlanta, GA, and an avid writer. Jesse completed graduate and post graduate work in the Social Sciences, & Post-Graduate work in both English and Psychology. Jesse also received a D.Min. from the Interspiritual Divinity School (formerly Anglican Divinity School-a division of the Universal Anglican Church). Jesse lectures on the intersections of what he calls “real life” with a soul-ful spirituality that invites listeners to ground themselves in the earth, and get back into their lives. Jesse’s blend of Soulful-Spirituality and the modern age, with a twist of Jungian-Depth Psychology & Mysticism, blazes a wide chasm for what he calls the rise of Generation NOW! According to Jesse one of the most important discoveries in the first half of life is finding yourself–”because in discovering your “Self” you would have found the dwelling place of the divine. The first half of life is an amazing time—why not seize it while you have the chance?”

In his capacity as a Unity.FM (Unity Online Radio) host, Jesse Herriott has had the pleasure of dialoguing with some of the world’s leading luminaries, New York Times-Bestselling authors, and teachers such as Dr. Sanjiv Chopra, Dr. Arun Gandhi (the grandson of Mahatma Ghandi), Harin Kara, Latham Thomas, Meggan Watterson, Dr. Terry Cole-Whitaker, Gangaji, Bishop John Shelby Spong, Bishop Carlton Pearson, NaAak’ Paola Ambrosi, Dr. Timothy Freke, Susan Cain-NY Times Bestselling Author, Howard Falco,and many more……..

Jesse’s writings have appeared in both print and online indie magazines and journals around the world. And He hosts a weekly Empowerment program on Unity Online Radio entitled, “Living on Purpose (www.unity.fm/program/livingonpurpose). For more info, or to contact Jesse directly, visit him on the Web at www.jessherriott.com, Facebook at www.facebook.com/jesse.herriott, Twitter @jessherriott, or on Youtube at www.youtube.com/jesseherriott or view his Unity Online Radio archives at: www.unity.fm/program/livingonpurpose

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