There I was staring up at the ceiling and contemplating that I wasn't posting another super gooey and sweet post about being in love with my awesome girlfriend to piss Taylor off with (which is my secret pleasure by the way, pissing off Miss TaylorCast. Shh!). Nope, not this day. I was contemplative as I lay on my girlfriend's bed, with her in my arms wondering about the future, as was she. We'd sort of had the “kids” talk… Again. You know the one. Do you? Don't you? As is the fine tradition and belief at the Urban Dater, if you can bleed it, people will want to read it. That said, kids. Let's talk about that for a few minutes.
This isn't the first time my woman and I have had the “talk” about kids. She wants em and I think they're scary and gross. I'm sure if you weren't offended by the image for this post, then the scary and gross assessment of babies has probably pushed you over the edge. The first time we talked about it, it was sandwiched with the marriage talk, which I gotta give kudos to my woman for heaping those burning topics together so nicely. Averse to confrontation? Not my woman, let me tell you!
That conversation posed to critical questions for me. Am I ready for marriage and do I want kids. At the time, marriage seemed like a for-off possibility and I could entertain the idea of kids. Time has passed, though, and I can say that, yeah, kids are not what I want. Though, I can see myself getting married and I can see myself marrying my girlfriend. She's that awesome. So what is it about these dang kids?
I'm not crazy about kids, they don't really fit into what I want to do with life. In fact, I could go on and on about why I don't really want a baby. It all boils down to this: I'm selfish. That's it. I'm selfish.
People tell me “Alex, you'd make a great father!” Yeah and you'd make a great lamppost if you just stood in one place and kept your yap shut!
This discussion is definitely one you make peace with before things get serious. I've ignored that bit of wisdom and now, like Obama with Tax Cut extensions for all Americans, I have tough decisions to make. No, no. I'm not going back on the kids thing and I wouldn't expect my girl to be okay not having them…That night, when we were on her bed, we wer quiet as we each mulled over our feelings and thoughts. My girlfriend mused, “So, what do couples without kids do anyway?” It didn't take me long to answer. Couples without kids do a lot of things. Some of the ones I know buy expensive four bedroom houses in affluent neighborhoods, the renovate one room and make it into a mini-theater, complete with plush movie theater seats and a wall mounted projection screen. Couples without kids drive out to the desert and jump their powerful shiny bikes all over the place, load em up in the motor home and go back to their house with the rest of their toys… Sounds selfish, materialistic and… meaningless. Doesn't it? Meh. Now, I'm just whining and feeling sorry for myself.
Time, though, has a way of changing things sometimes, in ways we don't always expect. I'll take as much time as I'm given and just kinda see what happens… Which is pretty much what I said after the first time we had this talk. The clock is ticking and who knows how much time is left and I don't want to have to write that one post… You know the post… I hate even the thought of it.
Weigh in on this. What do you think about my sad sack of suckery spilt above?