The most important relationship is the one between you and you.
As a Love Coach, I often see singles looking outside of themselves to get the Love, attention, compassion, acceptance, and understanding they desire. They believe if they could just have a relationship they’ll feel loved and loveable.
Not true. The truth is what you seek has to come from within, first. You have all of what you desire within you; you just may have lost your connection to it along the way.
Years ago when I stuck at single, a friend said to me “You have to love yourself first”. “I do love myself”, I thought. After deeper examination I realized she was right. I lost my connection to me. I was looking for someone outside of me to give me something I felt I was missing – to give me love, to accept me, to make me feel I was loveable, and to do things for me that I wasn’t doing for myself.
Here are 3 self-love tips to attract YOUR heart’s desires:
1. It all begins with you. Anytime you find yourself seeking to receive something from outside of you – something you feel you need or are lacking, stop and ask: “Am I giving these things to myself?” Are you giving yourself time, attention, and loving care?
2. We teach others how to treat us by how we treat ourselves. Do you find yourself saying “yes” to something when you really don’t want to? Maybe you’re afraid of what someone will think or afraid you’ll hurt their feelings. Do you have a list of things you want to do for yourself or goals you wish to accomplish, but if someone needs something from you, you put aside your needs and desires to help them?
Having a commitment to another that is stronger than the one you have for yourself is not self-love.
This is just one of the ways you prevent yourself from attracting and allowing into your life the relationship (or any dream!) you desire. If you can’t put yourself first, you cannot expect someone else to make you a priority.
Growing up we’re taught that taking care of ourselves first or to think of ourselves first is selfish. Yet, you know when you fly on an airplane they tell you to put your air mask on first before your help others? Is that selfish? No! It better prepares you for helping another; you’ve got all the oxygen you need to now breathe easy and help another.
The same is true with love and relationships. You will find greater success and deeper intimacy in your relationships when your focus is self-love. You’re better prepared to give to another when you fully have what you are ready to share.
3. You cannot expect someone to love you greater than the level of love you have for yourself. Really take this in: You’ll attract a relationship and love at the level in which you love yourself. Some of the things that get in the way of allowing self-love and better relationships (and any other dreams and goals you have for your life) are what I refer to as Buried Beliefs. Being selfish is a common buried belief. Other buried beliefs I often identify in my Intuitive Love Readings are: my needs are bad or wrong, it’s selfish to want things, what I want doesn’t exist, I have to get my life (body, money issues, home, career, etc.) in order first.
You might have some buried beliefs that are deeper and you’re not conscious of them. How will you know? You’re not experiencing the life and relationships you desire. Maybe you keep attracting the same type of partner over and over again and don’t know why. Or you meet someone, there is great chemistry, but it always fizzles out. Why? Buried Beliefs. Your beliefs create your actions and your experiences – whether you’re conscious of them or not.
- You can have the love and relationship you desire!
- You are meant for love.
- You deserve to have what you really want. What you really want does exist!
- The only thing in the way is what is under the surface, your buried beliefs, and how you treat yourself. Begin within and everything outside of you changes.
Kelly Ann is a Healer, Intuitive Guide, and Spiritual Coach. Through years of her own healing experiences and practical training she has found her way from darkness and fear to light and Love. Kelly Ann has been able to identify the core components that block and prevent people from living and loving their best life ever. Her company i Return To Love focuses on healing, building confidence, healing past pains and childhood wounds and powerfully attracting and consciously creating an amazing life. Her work touches clients all over the world.