Nowadays there are plenty of ways to meet guys. From your local bar to an activities class, from speed dating to online sites, there are lots of different ways to connect with other singles. But after you meet for your first date you have to endure the waiting game as he decides whether to contact you again.
Not every guy will call and arrange a second date, which can be very frustrating if you thought the first date went well. Here are five reasons why he might not call you back.
Oh! You yet draw breath, eh? Why don't I call you back tomorrow maybe not really, mmkay?
1. He just isn’t that into you
Harsh but true – the most common reason that guys don’t call is because they either didn’t feel an attraction or they didn’t see the relationship developing any further. Men don’t like talking about their feelings, especially when they think they might get a negative response, so they find it easier just to stay silent and ignore you.
Even if you had a great first date, he may have just got the ‘friend vibe’ off you and so didn’t want to mislead you by taking it further.
2. He’s insecure
On the flipside, he may REALLY like you, but he is scared of showing it. He might want to appear cool and unconcerned so that he doesn’t frighten you away with his intense feelings. His friends might have advised him to play the game and make you wait a few days to keep you keen. He may be hoping that you will call him to show that you are just as interested as he is.
3. He really is just very busy right now
He may genuinely be really busy. He might have a lot of work on, he could be studying, or he might have family commitments. Or more likely, he is being monopolised by his friends! If you do hear from him eventually and he says he just lost track of time then you should believe him. Guys get distracted easily, but if he really likes you then you will hear from him eventually.
4. He had some unexpected news
He may have some bad news, such as a family bereavement, or he may have been sent on a last-minute work trip. If you have only been on one or two dates then he may not feel comfortable enough with you yet to discuss all the ins and outs of his personal life. Don’t give him a hard time when he does ring because he might have just been through a genuinely upsetting experience.
5. He needs some time to think
He may still be a little unsure of his feeling and so is taking some time to weigh things up in his mind. The best thing to do in this case is to give him some space and let him contact you when he is ready. If he really likes you then he will ring you – if he doesn’t then you are better off without him! He might be testing you to see how you react to his silence, so impress him by playing it cool.
If it’s been a while and he hasn’t called you, don’t sit around feeling depressed. The best thing you can do to improve your confidence is to get back out there.
If you are looking for a new way to meet people in the UK then why not try you can improve your chances by meeting someone on a site like eHarmony.co.uk where you’ll be matched based on compatibility. You can find out more about how it works here.
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Nice post. I think there’s one reason you left out: he is attracted to you and does like you, but is just not interested in a relationship now, with anyone. If he senses that you are (and you probably are) then he’ll head for the hills. I wrote about this in greater detail in a blog post called Dear Jcoach: Why Did He Reject Me.
Or he doesn’t have the balls to do so. Some guys are so shy and naive that they’d rather keep their mouth shut than express their feelings.